Finally ready...

I've wanted to make a calendar with our pictures for a while. I actually have used a couple of different companies to make them, but when I got the final product in hand, I wasn't so pleased. I finally found one, though, that offered exactly what I want. A desktop calendar with our photos, captions and dates marked for Vietnamese holidays. Woohoo! I'm stoked. Here's a composite of all the pages:



And of course you can get one yourself! I'm charging $8.99 and the couple extra bucks will go toward the shipping of all those clothes to the Tam Ky Baby Orphanage. I'm also selling some of the not-as-useable-for-Vietnam stuff on ebay to pay for postage, as well. All these shirts and pants have been sitting here for far too long.

[I've tried a dozen times to get this button to work, but nothing seems to help. Ugh. So, if you want the calendar, hit me up on paypal. Donate [at] teresaandkids.com is the address. So much for simple and easy.]
THANK YOU!

arrived

After the unexpected run for the plane after mis-reading the clock, just over the brink of tears, we found that our plane was running nearly an hour late and we wouldn't miss the flight after all. Thank goodness because this consistent run of bad luck is a bit frustrating. We made it and landed at about 11:30a.m. PST.

And let me just say that the guards to get into democratic America are way scarier than communist China. I will not be heading in and out of Canada again unless absolutely necessary. Worst border crossing yet.

We stopped by my sister's house and I had my first startling response of not being stared at. It was odd to walk by people and not have them give a second glance to us. We're the norm again and I don't particularly like it, even though I didn't like being stared at either.

It's an awkward feeling being here. We've gone through so much in the past nearly seven months and yet, we came back to find everything precisely as we left it. My mom even kept my cell phone for me and had it fully charged. It was a sweet gesture, but at the same time I feel as if the person who used that phone such a short time ago is gone; I'm no longer the woman I was in December.

I don't know what I'm going to do exactly. I have to start paying on those darn school loans and I've got to do something with my life. In Viet Nam I felt I had a purpose, but here, it feels pointless. I've got to find something to give purpose or I'll slip into a whirlpool of depression and who needs that?

I emptied our suitcases today and am missing only a couple of things (two of our three stamps--I shoved them into something to keep them safe during our travels, but don't remember what) and found more clothes that I realized we had. It's good to have a space in my parents' house that is ours and for the first time in months, literally, I slept in a bed all by myself. Ahhh. Audrey is ecstatic to be back and has fallen in love with my folks' pet pomeranian, Stuart found the rest of his stored Legos and I am scouring Craigslist for some sort of income.

Life has changed. I have changed. We'll see what happens next. First, though, I've got to buy a new charger for my PowerBook because I was scatterbrained enough to leave the original one in the hotel in Ha Noi and without my computer is useless.

countdown

This is it. Our last 24 hours in Asia (for now). I can't help but be melancholy, though I am struggling to hide the sadness from the kids. Audrey, especially, feels sad and angry knowing that I don't want to leave, but she does. She is eagerly awaiting our arrival and I'm happy for her. Stuart is glad to be going back as well, though he, too, looks forward to our return to Viet Nam. It's a odd mixture of emotions as I prepare to go back. It's hard to not feel a bit of a failure. There's so much more I could have, should have done. Maybe it would have been better to take the tiny house and stay in Ha Noi back in March. Maybe Audrey would have liked it better. Maybe either way would have been difficult. Maybe this was what it was supposed to be. Either way, it's coming to an end. Or a pause? I don't know. I know what I want, but I'm not sure what the next step will be.

I will be doing more writing; I'm currently working on a piece I'll post next week about toilets. Funny how we've become so opinionated on the various aspects. Silly, but important here.

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Audrey has done some writing (and loads of drawings) and is getting one of her pieces published at the end of the year. Yea for her! I'll post more info when we get the specifics, but it's about our volunteer work there and should include some photos. Looking forward to getting some more stuff published, including a couple of comic-style booklets that she's made as well as an awful lot of writing that needs to be edited.


Thanks to everyone for your support. You'll hear from us again in a couple of days. From the other side of the Pacific.

world travels

Today we visited the One-Pillar Pagoda in Ha Noi (or as it is labeled here: Single Column Temple):


Then we checked out Angkor Wat in Cambodia:


And rode the elevator to the top of the Eiffel Tower:


We also visited the Acropolis in Greece:


And the ancient pyramids of Egypt:


We also saw Mount Rushmore, Easter Island, the White House, Manhattan Island before 9/11, the Sydney Opera House, Niagara Falls, the line drawings in Peru, The Versailles Palace, the Kremlin, Buckingham Palace and Stonehenge, the Grand Palace in Thailand and Notre Dame, among others. This is Window of the World and you should come if you ever get the chance.

comparison is inevitable

Here we are in China, with its wide streets, clean and accessible sidewalks, easy access to quick eating ....but we miss motorbikes and a language we at least partly understand (never realized how much Vietnamese I understood before coming here and understanding nothing) and chicken (or beef) and rice.

We've had an amazing time here and it is definitely vacation-like (which is precisely what I wanted for the kids). Tommy and his parents have honestly treated us like royalty, providing us a place to stay and getting us tickets on the train to Shanghai, feeding us an astonishing array of Chinese and Western food (Pizza Hut? Whoda thunk). I can never express my gratitude for all they've done and are doing for us. It's been amazing and I hope to forward that generosity on; I am again in the debt of others' kindness.

We've noticed, though, that every step of the way we inevitably compare it to the Vietnamese way. Oh, the girls are wearing short sleeves! Where are all the motorbikes? (Banned by law, I found out.) In Viet Nam, they're very worried about getting dark. Yes, people in Viet Nam eat every bit of the animal, too, but it is the first time I've seen deep-fat fried chicken head.

We can't seem to help it. Everything gets compared, both positive and negative (depending on the situation and the person). I can't help but think it will continue for a long while after returning to the States, as well. Sorry, folks, you'll have to deal with it.

There are bits of both countries that we like, but Ha Noi has my heart. Toi yeu Viet Nam!

[Our last night in Ha Noi at the ice cream buffet at Fanny Ice Cream.]

Happy Valley

This is it.. the big Happy Valley amusement park, a la Disneyland (but bigger than the one in Hong Kong). It was very reminiscent of the California Disneyland and would be impossible to do all in one day. We went yesterday and wore ourselves out enough to decide to simply stay home today. So, here's some photos for you:
Audrey rocked at this game; we played it first and last during our time at the park. She ended up winning nearly a dozen little prizes, but kept getting 4 out of 5 necessary to win the big prize. So the girl that ran the booth gave Audrey a few extra chances and, sure enough, she did it. Won a big ol' stuffed kitty that I have no idea how we'll drag back to the States, but we'll give it a valiant effort.

One area of the park consists of a large tree-covered hillside with myriad climbing structures. In fact, it was called the Climbing Forest (clever, eh?). Stuart and Audrey climbed over, through and across as many as they could find. Tommy, still not feeling very well, remarked on their seeming love of climbing and I realized, yeah, they hadn't been able to do it in a while. This was a rope tube that twisted up and around before letting you out on the other end. Audrey remarked that it was fun, but "kinda claustrophobic."

The day was quite hot and all the standing around can get to you, but luckily Happy Valley is full of water rides. We hit our first one, Gold Mine River Rapids, within the first hour (and managed to stay in varying degrees of wetness for the remainder of the day). You pay an extra 5Yuan for each poncho/raincoat, and it's definitely worth it. Even with the so-called protection, we were soaked from thighs down and completely down the front of our shirts.

We might have looked silly, but it was a lot of fun. It starts slowly, but soon you are rocking through fake rapids and getting sprayed on, bumped around and soaked. Loads of fun, of course. Then as you come around to the end of the ride, Surprise!, there are people waiting to shoot you with fairly high-powered water hoses. We left drenched, but smiling.

Later we went on Shoot the Chute, which makes no phonetic sense, but it was fun anyway. Stuart and Tommy rode ahead of Audrey and I as we floated through a flooded town from early America, heading around and then up, up, up until you reach the top, then come around a corner and then down as a freefall into the water. Oh my!

This one is impossible to escape from being completely drenched. The water sprays so high that it comes up and over the boat. In fact, when we first got into the boat, it was already so full of water that it covered our shoes. (My supposedly-leather flip-flops/thongs/jandals are dying so very quickly.)

And, of course, we got the "Could you pose with my kid?" requests. They are very familiar for Audrey and she's a pretty good sport about it, especially if someone asks (rather than just grabbing her like she's an inanimate object). She got a few requests, including this one where the mom wanted them to hold hands. Audrey's comment: "His hand's so skinny."
Then later, Stuart was asked, too. Less common for him, I'm assuming because he is a boy and older. This time they had a kid the same size (age?) and they posed. It's quite funny at times, but I figure if the kids every became famous, they'd have some clue how to deal with it. Though neither aspires to it; the attention can be disturbing at times.

Then there was this ride. I really really wanted to go, but the line was upwards of an hour's wait and I was the only one that could/wanted to go. So... I didn't go. But darn it, someday I'm getting someone to go with me. (Which reminds me that Audrey told me it's time for me to find a boyfriend because she likes that, but she decided she really doesn't want a stepdad. oh, okay, honey, I'll just head out and pick one up. Wait. According to the fortune teller, I'm due for a Chinese husband. Hmmmm...) Looked scary-scary, but a lot of fun, too. It was huge and flipped all over. Yeah, someday, before I'm too old, I want to do that one.

So, all in all, it was a great day. So tiring and my feet are too old to deal with all that walking in lame beach shoes, but it's all I have now. It worked, though, and we all had a good time just having fun and being together someplace new. Tommy was a fantastic tour guide and is a great friend. He'll be tour-guiding again on Thursday when we hit Window of the World.

some photos

I will always be amazed at what people can carry on motorbikes in Viet Nam. This was on the way to the airport and there were several bikes zipping along with these enormous vases tied to the sides of their bikes. The balance is amazing, if you ask me.

I was none to happy to be leaving Viet Nam. I've really grown to love Ha Noi, to love Viet Nam. To wave goodbye one last time was heartbreaking for me. I'd finally found where I was happiest, but it wasn't going to work this time. Later. I'll be back.
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We made it to Hong Kong and then struggled to get into China. Customs is really no fun at all. There are forms to fill out everywhere (remember to keep them!). We presented our passports and got a little hassle at each stop. My hair has gotten a lot shorter and no longer curly, so I don't really look like my photo so much. Audrey's is shorter, too. Each time they had to look at them closely and have the kids move to the front so they could look at them straight on and compare photo to person. I have to admit, it's a little scary because that person has complete control over whether or not we get into the country.

Last night (Sunday), we went down to the waterfront park. It hugs the Shenzhen Bay, where the river empties into the bay which heads out to sea. It was just beautiful there, despite the cars. We could look across and see all the cookie-cutter buildings of Hong Kong. The park ran several kilometers and has a mangrove area that is protected for the cranes and other birds that call that area home.

Back together again. Tommy, Audrey and Stuart at the waterfront park. It was cooler and quite nice to be out and about... in China. :)

Visiting the HCM Mausoleum (Stuart as guest blogger)

Yesterday morning we attempted to see the almighty "Ho Chi Minh".

First we had to drop off all bags, water, cameras, and mobile phones at the entrance then wait in line for 10 minutes and pass through the security scanner and after being asked 5 times if we have a camera (which we didn't because we had sand stuck in it)we walked into an area that looked like a lobby. We had no reason to stay there so we walked into another line and slowly creeped our way slowly closer to the building. 25 minutes later we finnaly got to the entrance. Before we went in we saw the white guards with their rifles marching in a way where when they go to step they point their toes as far as they can. After what looked like a dance routine we went in.

My first thought was "brrr it's cold". we had to stay very quiet and climbed the stairs to "the room". There lying in the bed in the center of the room was the body of Ho Chi Minh. He looked very plastic and was porrly lit by a dark orange light making it less amusing to look at. About 1 minute later and we are pushed out of the mausoleum and I couldn't belive we waited in line for 45 minutes for just a glance at him.

back to work after our visit to Tam Ky

After a grueling 17-hour train ride from Tam Ky, we are back in Thanh Hoa. It was an exhausting weekend both emotionally and physically (though not from exertion, but from the heat and boredom).

We arrived in Tam Ky on Friday afternoon in the heat of the day and, as is often the case for us, there was no taxi to be seen. I called Yen, but she didn't answer, so we set off on foot. The three of us dragging two suitcases, three backpacks, a bag of rambutans and two cases of building blocks. In 38C (100F) weather. Down the main streets of town.

Luckily for the kids, Yen had seen my call and headed toward the train station. Being quite the caravan, we were hard to miss. She pulled over and loaded the kids, their backpacks, and the suitcase onto the motorbike. Stuart held onto the building blocks and the three of them took off, while I hoofed it the remaining half-mile to the volunteer house with backpack and suitcase in tow.

It was perfect timing for the Baby Orphanage, so after gulping down a few glasses of water and introductions between new and old volunteers, we all piled into the new-to-GVN mini-van and headed toward the children's orphanage to get Han, a young orphan who lives at the hospital Monday through Friday in order to get physical therapy. As soon as we arrived, my kids jumped right out and headed to her room. Stuart got to her first and was quite happy to carry her back to the van, where I held her for our ride to the orphanage.

Upon our arrival, I was hoping to be greeted by a sea of smiling faces, but the look was one of shock, instead. Not one of the kids would smile at me. It was bitterly disappointing as I love these kids and would do nearly anything for them. I understand, though, that, one-it's been three months since we left and two-I ditched on them. My favorite, Lan, was obviously angry and refused to give me second glance.

Stuart, on the other hand, was mobbed once again on arriving. Not one of the boys had forgotten about him or was the slightest bit upset. They just wanted another one of piggyback rides. Unfortunately, the stifling heat kept us all from playing as hard as we'd have liked, but Stuart gave it a valiant effort and just ran a tad bit slower than usual.

Audrey ran straight for Kieu, but it was a look of indifference that greeted her causing her heart to sink a bit. She took it fairly gracefully and visited with some of the other children and especially the babies (whose rejection one can never really take personally). Later she gave it another shot and Kieu was nicer, though their tight bond has been, sadly, broken.

After we'd been there about 15 minutes, Mr. Nguyen (commonly referred to by his wife's name.. Mr. Hanh) brought in the suitcase. The kids obviously knew there was something in there for them and crowded around as I tried to unzip it. But before I could get it open and start passing things around, the kids had ripped it open and were climbing over each other, grabbing and pulling things out of the suitcase. I tried to pull them off the little ones being smashed at the bottom of the kid pile, but it took two "mothers" stepping in and yelling at them in Vietnamese before I could get them off enough to zip the bag shut again. The clothes, toys and puzzles were taken to the baby room where the mothers handed the clothes out later. The toys and puzzles were to be put in the toy closet for later use.

We pulled out the jellies (little gelatin sticks) and tried to fairly disperse them, attempting to remember each face as I handed them out, double-checking the other hand to make sure they weren't coming back for seconds before everyone had firsts (which more than a few tried). With the help of one of the mothers, we got them all passed out, though I'm sure there were some who managed to get two when they shouldn't have. But at least everyone got one.

By this point, I was overwhelmed both emotionally and physically and decided to go outside to take a few minutes alone. I realized that my affection for the kids is not reciprocated as I'd thought. We were simply the bearer of gifts and that was the only reason they came to me; they wanted what I had. It was quite a miserable few moments for me as I collected myself and moved back in to play with the little ones, despite my frustration.

Lan had been watching me; I could see her to the side. After sitting on the steps she came up behind the pole in a sort of peek-a-boo game, but without any hint of a smile. It took a while of reaching for her, teasing her and laughing before she loosened up and laughed with me. It was exactly what I needed--to know that she didn't hate me after all, she was just angry at me.

And for a valid reason. We had become pals and then I had just left. And now, I come back to spoil her for a day. Then, like a hypocrite, I leave once more. I tried to find off the guilt, but it sat with me the whole time. She had trusted me once and I'd failed her and now I was here to do it again. It still tears at me emotionally and I hope that our efforts have done more good than harm. I know it hasn't been harmless and that makes me so very sad.

We did have a good time together--Lan, her sister and me. We played chase and the girls nearly kissed me to death at one point. She'd forgiven me for the time being and I basked in their giggles and wide smiles.

The kids, both mine and the orphans, did seem to have a good time in the end, after a few stumbling steps at the beginning. They just wanted to be chased and have their photographs taken and throw toys around. In ways everything was exactly as we'd left, but things were so different as well. Not the least of which was a huge influx of Hill Tribe kids. Not sure why there was a large group of them at once. Did they come from another orphanage? Did a group just decide to get rid of their kids? Was there a bad accident and they were actually orphaned? Who knows. No one seemed to have any idea, just knew that they were here and needed clothes and shoes and toys.

I hadn't realized there were so many kids that were older, so I'd bought more in the sizes 1-4 range. Adorable little outfits plus pants, shirts, and shorts. Kieu and Thu both got the Sam Son outfits. Though they won't know, or care, why they have Sam Son written on their shirts, it makes me feel a tad closer to them. That's "our" beach and now they've got souvenirs from there. The shorts/top outfits seemed perfect for the summer heat, as well. I hope that's true because they were really cute.

For the kids who didn't get anything (because I didn't buy enough in the bigger sizes), I left money with Yen to buy them some clothes from the local market. Hopefully that will happen within the week, so they don't feel too left out. I felt really terrible, but the last time there had only been a few older kids and now there's a dozen or more.

Before switching into their new clothes, the kids showered and though I can't show you photos, I must say they were so cute and so funny running around half- and fully naked dumping water over each other, scrubbing down and rinsing again. I couldn't help but laugh.

After an hour and a half, it was time to leave and we headed back to the Tam Ky house. The remainder of the trip continued to go awry, but we had some fun, as well. We visited Phu Ninh again with Lisa and Naomi, two other GVN volunteers, and the kids had a good time splashing around, though we were shocked to see how low the water had gotten in only a few months. It was at least 6 feet below where it was on our first visit (seriously! check out the photos). I managed to get a bit sunburned (ah, the lovely blistered shoulders!), but the kids only got a slight blush thanks to the sunscreen.

Otherwise we did a lot of laying around, managing to screw up my bank account, eating fruit and hanging out alone. It was an odd trip; everything was so much the same and yet everything was different. A strange trip indeed.

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THANK YOU to everyone who donated money to bring the clothes, toys, books, puzzles, and jellies down to the kids in Tam Ky. If you would like to help out, please contact Children of Vietnam, a group that has twice-early trips to the area to bring donations. And they are always needed. Medicines, formula, clothes, blankets, sweaters, shoes, socks, etc. can always be used and everyone is grateful for the help.

Ninh Binh

Despite the hour's wait for the taxi and witnessing yet another motorbike accident, we finally caught a bus and headed toward Ninh Binh to meet my friend Keith who was making his way down from Ha Noi. He'd been here almost exactly one year ago and was kind enough to show us the local attractions, along with his local friend Kien. The five of us spent Sunday and Monday seeing the sights around the area.

First we hit Hoa Lu, the ancient capitol of Viet Nam (968-1009 CE). It's surrounded by the limestone formations that dot the area around Ninh Binh, which proved to be a good defense against the Chinese invasions of the time.

Then we headed to Hang Mua, a cave (man-made, it seems) and an amazing view as a reward for the 463-step climb. I suggested they make those rises a little lower and up the number of steps, because dang, those were some steep stairs. Always a fun adventure for someone with a fear of heights. Eek. We had to step carefully to avoid the plentitude of fecal proof of the mountains goats that proliferate in the area.

So after all those stairs up, this is the view we got. I hate cliches, but honestly, it was breathtaking. The rain was coming in and it was amazing just to see so far out and around. It's refered to as the "Ha Long Bay in the Rice Fields" which is a pinpoint description. Beautiful.

After our descent we headed to Tam Coc, a one-hour boat ride through three caves, up and back. it's really beautiful, and worth the 55,000VND fee, but not super amazing. Audrey pouted and had to paddle, we got the hard sell and managed to get out with only buying 2 drinks and shrimp crackers. It was a relaxing bit for us alone while Keith and Kien had an afternoon nap.

We finished there, found the guys and headed to Bich Dong, a series of pagodas built up the mountainside. The second pagoda is an entrance to the cave and internal ascent to the third pagoda. The kids managed to trick me into climbing up the mountain--heart palpatations be damned. We followed the well-used hand and foot holds up the mountainside until it became clear that it wasn't so safe (the skull and crossbones were a good sign). Both kids wanted to venture off, but I was a cruel mother and made them head down to safety instead.

On the second day (today), we headed out to Phat Diem, a Christian enclave about 45km southwest of Ninh Binh. There are quite a few churches in the area, but there's a central complex that is the main tourist attraction. Somehow they merged Roman Catholic architecture with Asian architecture and it worked, even though it does seem odd to see a Christ statue in this land of Budda.

For lunch we stopped at a local restaurant and while I cannot give a glowing review of the food, I can say that the bottled body parts were quite intriguing. Snakes. Goat testicles. Cat feet. Really, who thought you could find this stuff next to your lunch table? Truly bizarre.

And the reason for my sunburned face and arms? I got to ride the motorbike! All by myself on the way and with Stuart as my passenger on the bumpy return ride. Interesting how doing the things that scare me really does make me less scared. I'd fretted about the bike ride, that I wanted so badly to do, for the past week... up until I'd been riding for about 2 minutes. Then all my panic just slipped away and I was sure I could do it. And I did.

Special thanks to Keith and Kien for making the holiday extra grand. We even got to catch up on "Heroes," a show we actually miss. I think we're actually one episode behind still, but we'll just hit iTunes for that.

Sam Son, redux

So tired, but here are some photos from today's trip to Sam Son with the students from my morning class.

The painted "zebra"


The fishermen/women were cleaning their nets of small crabs, shells, and octopus babies.


Little wildflowers, perfect for pictures.

Audrey was so tired, she actually slept most of the way there.