frustration
My feelings of inadequacy, of incompetence, of failure continue to loom over me despite daily efforts to look on the bright side. I just wish I could see a way of being able to support my kids, but it all seems so impossible now. The frustration limits my ability to accomplish much, which just seems to add to the frustration. It's a stupid catch-22. I can't help but be angry at myself for coming back before I was financially or emotionally ready, but at the same time, Audrey confirms that it was the right thing for her. She's even gained 3kgs since we got back! I just wish there was a way to have what was best for me and best for her and Stuart at the same time, but it feels like an impossible dream.
I'm continuing to work on my website and helping Audrey out with her Viet Nam scrapbook, so the memories still flow, bringing smiles and laughs. Good times, man.
Only 5 days until Stuart comes back. I can hardly wait. I love that kid and miss his witty humor.
Labels: daily life, vent
posted by teresa @ 6:21 PM
2 Comments:
Maybe this is a crazy thought, but did you ever think about organising and leading study tours to Vietnam. You could lead groups to places off the normal tourist paths, help them understand local culture, food, etc.
You could even use it as a way of actually doing the work you want to do in Vietnam by following something like the KOTO project (http://www.koto.com.au/) and recruiting local disadvantaged kids to work on the tours and get trained in the business, so that they can start out on their own and help train others.
Maybe this sounds too hard to achieve, but then again, so did your trip before you did it...
Boo.
It sucks when what you want isn't what others want...and the others are your primary obligation.
Good luck, hon. Wish I could offer some advice. *hug*
--Lydia
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