arrived

After the unexpected run for the plane after mis-reading the clock, just over the brink of tears, we found that our plane was running nearly an hour late and we wouldn't miss the flight after all. Thank goodness because this consistent run of bad luck is a bit frustrating. We made it and landed at about 11:30a.m. PST.

And let me just say that the guards to get into democratic America are way scarier than communist China. I will not be heading in and out of Canada again unless absolutely necessary. Worst border crossing yet.

We stopped by my sister's house and I had my first startling response of not being stared at. It was odd to walk by people and not have them give a second glance to us. We're the norm again and I don't particularly like it, even though I didn't like being stared at either.

It's an awkward feeling being here. We've gone through so much in the past nearly seven months and yet, we came back to find everything precisely as we left it. My mom even kept my cell phone for me and had it fully charged. It was a sweet gesture, but at the same time I feel as if the person who used that phone such a short time ago is gone; I'm no longer the woman I was in December.

I don't know what I'm going to do exactly. I have to start paying on those darn school loans and I've got to do something with my life. In Viet Nam I felt I had a purpose, but here, it feels pointless. I've got to find something to give purpose or I'll slip into a whirlpool of depression and who needs that?

I emptied our suitcases today and am missing only a couple of things (two of our three stamps--I shoved them into something to keep them safe during our travels, but don't remember what) and found more clothes that I realized we had. It's good to have a space in my parents' house that is ours and for the first time in months, literally, I slept in a bed all by myself. Ahhh. Audrey is ecstatic to be back and has fallen in love with my folks' pet pomeranian, Stuart found the rest of his stored Legos and I am scouring Craigslist for some sort of income.

Life has changed. I have changed. We'll see what happens next. First, though, I've got to buy a new charger for my PowerBook because I was scatterbrained enough to leave the original one in the hotel in Ha Noi and without my computer is useless.