on a tangent
It's painful when a movie hits too close to home. Or, like The Pursuit of Happyness, when it lands on your doorstep. We watched the movie last night, borrowed from a fellow hotel dweller and if it weren't for that lovely fairly tale ending (and the fact that I'm a white woman with 2 kids), it'd be the story of my life. I've also had my car towed away, ran for more buses than I could ever count, lost my home 'cause I couldn't pay rent, lived in a hotel (obviously), had my bank account drained, dragged my kids around looking for work, sold my stuff for any cash I could, raced between school and work, work and school and had an ex that moved to New York and stopped calling.
I kind of half-watched the movie after a bit, horrified at how bad my life, and thereby my kids' lives, have been. I'd forgotten the really hard episodes of the past few years, but this flick brought it all back. Stuart commented on the similarities a few times and I couldn't help but feel at fault even if it wasn't always mine to bear. Thankfully, he has a good attitude about it and we have a good chuckle over comparing our homelessness to theirs. At least we had a car. And we had friends and family who'd let us crash for the night on their couch or floor.
But I've got a bit of guilt still hanging over me. I can only hope that all the struggles that we've had at home and in Viet Nam and all the worse situations we've witnessed here will prove to be "character building" or whatever you want to call it. Maybe they'll grow to be strong, empathetic, and tenacious global citizens.
Or maybe they'll both seek counseling to deal with the scars of their childhood.
Either way, they might be able to make a movie out of it: The Pursuit of Happyness 2, or Running with Scissors 2.
3 Comments:
You've got friends, family, and health. You work hard and you care (a lot). Those are traits of an great role model! You also talk about things with your kids and they're comfortable talking to you. That's really huge. I think you're as good a parent as any can hope to be. Everything else is just life. It happens.
Trust in the fact that the memories of hardships will fade, but the love will always be felt. I believe you're kids will be glad they grew up with such rich experiences and look back on their childhood with only the fondest of memories!
-- SS
BTW: You're always welcome to crash at our place. ;)
I guess I am not really anonymous but you know who we are and that is what counts. I think that the first response was "right on" ! I am sure that right now you are wondering a lot about the past and where you are going but you need to keep faith and follow your dreams and good sense. You have done a great job raising your children and setting a good example for them. You have worked hard to better educate yourself and your children. You have ( this is hard to put in words) to deal with people that are/were very negative toward you and have risen above it! Hang in there and remember that you have family here in the sunny state!
unc. d&j
Your kids seem (from what I've seen and read) more well-adjusted than most. I doubt they'll need therapy. The fact that you and Stuart shared a chuckle speaks volumes. You're a good mom. Don't let anyone tell you different.
--Lydia
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