Hoi An Recap

After our visit to the Home of Affection on Friday, Jo, me, Stuart and Audrey took off, with Mr. Hanh driving his cute little white Fiat, to Hoi An. I thought it was a good omen that the second song on the tape we were listening to was The Smiths' "Need To Be Loved," followed by Thompson Twins, New Order, and a number of bands I haven't heard in years. Granted, I was the only one singing along, but it made the trip so enjoyable. I would never expected those songs to provide the soundtrack while driving along some road in Viet Nam. A bit surreal.

We got to Hoi An at around 5pm and checked in. I told them that we were there for two nights, but he said that they were pretty full and only had rooms for one night. We got it settled and put in room on the top floor. There was a beautiful terrace and we felt so lucky until we caught a whiff of the room. Why do we always get the stinky rooms? It wasn't horrible, but we kept the door open and finally managed to get the fan turned out (the switch was behind the mirror...logical, eh?) to clear out a bit of the musty odor.

Sleeping. Thumbs down for Hoang Trinh Hotel (76/4 Tran Hung Dao). Not only did our room smell funky, but we were given a room with two twin beds for the three of us. Not the most comfortable sleeping arrangement with Audrey and I in the same small bed. The the sink fell off the wall. Audrey had gone into the bathroom at around 11pm to look in the mirror and when she leaned on the sink, the entire ceramic thing fell off the two small hooks on the wall, crashing to the tile floor but somehow remaining in one piece and missing my daughter's feet. Then the water started shooting out of the wall. Whee!

I jumped up, threw my hand over the spraying water to keep it from shooting straight into our bedroom, yelled to wake Stuart and sent him down to try to find someone to help us. He finds the clerk, who speaks no English, and uses gestures to tell him to come upstairs. Stuart rushes back and the clerk slowly makes his way up only to stand on the door, refusing to enter our room to see the problem, despite the kids' wild gesturing. He turned and left; meanwhile, I'm still in the bathroom holding water in the pipe with my thumb and getting my feet burned by the hot water still coming out. I tried turning the shut off valve, but it like playing Twister to get to it and it just kept twisting without slowing down.

I'm about ready to panic when Ayode (a volunteer from the Hue program who'd joined us for the weekend) knocked on the door to find out of we were all right. No, in fact, we aren't. So, Ayode (eye-oh-day) saved the night when he was able to reach the water shut-off valve and twist, twist, twist until it shut off. The bathroom floor was covered in water, the sink was in two parts and we just left it that way and went back to bed.

In the morning, I told them what had happened (using a lot of gestures still) and that I wanted a room (and out of Room 302). No problem, she assured me. We'd even get a room with windows and could move in after 12pm when the others checked out (of Room 304) But when we returned at noon (Audrey and I had migraines from the stinky, sewer gas air in the room overnight), we were told it would be about an hour, so we sat out on the terrace for a bit, but it wasn't helping our headaches. We took some medicine and eventually made our way back downstairs and ate our leftover pizza. At a bit after 1pm, I asked about moving our things over so we could go lay down. No luck. It won't be available until 3. And at 3pm? You guessed it...we'd get a room later, but this time we were told we'd be in Room 301 (Jo's room). We decided to not even come back again until after dinner and at that point, we were moved into Room 104, right off the front lobby.

They did so much shuffling between us, were given only four rooms for our group when we'd reserved five, were incredibly unhelpful when needed and tried to overcharge me by 100,000 VND. Overall, a terrible experience.
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Eating. We didn't eat out much as it was pretty expensive compared to Tam Ky and I don't particularly like spending money on food. Each night, though, we went out as a group (basically our only times all together). With nine of us going to different shops, it was hard to plan meet-ups, though we did randomly run into each other a few times.

The first night, we went to Xua & Kay (51 Le Loi), where we ate pizza and french fries. The pizza was actually pretty good; we bought the 4-cheese kind and a pepperoni to share between me, Stuart, Audrey and Summer. There was plenty for the night and leftovers for lunch the next day. It was pricey; the pizzas were 79,000VND each, plus the kids got Sprites and I had a pineapple lassi (fruit, juice and yogurt drink). Very good and all together, set me back about 200,000VND (about $12). After dinner, the kids and I headed downstairs and played foosball in the bar while listening to the Rolling Stones. A bit too Western for my liking, but I'd recommend it anyway.

The second night, we at at the Tam Tam Cafe, recommended in most guidebooks and by me, as well. The place was nicely decorated with several different dining areas and a balcony with a few small tables. Seemed like it would be nice for a romantic dinner, if you aren't as devoutly single as I. We order Carbonara Pasta (described as pasta with cream, garlic, bacon, and cheeses) and Chicken Pasta (described as pasta with cream, garlic, chicken and cheeses). Both were sauces served over spaghetti noodles. Despite the lack of fettucine noodles, it was really delicious and very flavorful. We ordered the two plates (85,000VND each) and shared it between the two of us with plenty of leftovers (lunch, again!). The kids drank Sprites, I had a Tam Tam cocktail (a delightful mixed-fruit drink with no alcohol) and shared a plate of garlic bread with others at the table. Altogether it was 230,000VND (about $14). Very expensive for food here, but we managed to eek two meals out of it for three people, so it wasn't too bad.

Shopping. What Hoi An is known for... the clothes shopping. I'm really not the right person to ask, being a seamstress and all, because I really was not impressed with the overall quality of the things that are made there. Yes, they can "copy any design" but don't expect it to wear as well as if you'd actually bought the Calvin Klein suit. That said, we did have a good time and after I fix a couple of things on the clothes I had made, it will all be good.

We visited two shops, primarily. Hoi An Cloth Shop (154 Tran Phu) is operated (not owned) by a young lady named Quyen (pronounced a lot like Quinn) who was a joy to work with. She speaks English very well and loved the kids. She helped me get the copy of my dress, pants and a shirt for Audrey and plaid shorts for Stuart. All from fabric that we had bought at the Cloth Market (1 Tran Phu). I also bought the silk fabric for the boots from her for $8/metre.

All the prices are given in US dollars, as well. A bit startling when I'd gotten so used to dealing in Vietnamese dong. It did help me to realize what a good deal the fabric was. It seems like good quality by feel (and after a washing, everything kept it's color, didn't twist, etc.). The linen was $5/metre. The cottons were $3-4/metre. Very good prices. I bought some fabric for Audrey to have another skort made, but we didn't have a photo or the skorts, so we will have it made here in Tam Ky.

The Cloth Market was great and there are a number of tailors in there, so you can have things made right there, which is what I did with Hoa at Cloth Shop No. 20 (she's on the east side of the Cloth Market). She was recommended to me by a friend and I ended up ordering a button-front shirtdress in a cute floral fabric. It will be perfect for hot summer days, though it really is calling out for red shoes. I may have to settle for some flip-flops (jandals) for it. She also made me a black a-line skirt, but after two fittings and running out of time, it still doesn't fit my waist. Darn that small waist-big hips thing.

Finally we had our shoes made at two places: Funky (28 Bach Dang), a shop run by Hoa's sister, Huong, and Ty Ty Shoes Shop (133 Tran Phu, across from Hoi An Cloth Shop). Huong helped us get my dark brown dress shoes, black leather flip-flops for Stuart and pink plastic flip-flops for Audrey. The shoes all came out well and the kids have been wearing them all week. Mine are "real" teacher shoes, so I'll wear them when I get a "real" job. My boots were made at Ty Ty Shoes and I put them to the test on Tuesday when we went to karaoke and they were comfortable, wore well and fit beautifully. Along with my Western features, the boots garnered a bit of attention.
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Sightseeing. As Keith recommended to me, just wander. There is so much to see, despite the constant "buy my stuff," "cyclo ride!" and "money, money" calling. The river is lovely to sit by and features some pretty strange little animals. We spotted crabs, fish and that weird eel-ish thing.

The Japanese Covered Bridge is best visited in the evening. We went through it one night at about 8pm and got to look closely at everything, though the altar room was closed (we looked through the grating). We went through the next day at about 10am and had to fight our way through. No fun. There are a ton of old buildings, though we didn't go inside any this time. We are planning another trip and will do more sightseeing and no shopping (okay, maybe some gifts again).

Hoi An is great for the ceramics, DVDs (we bought 16 at a buck a pop), bamboo bowls and t-shirts. There were a lot of things that were unavailable in Tam Ky that we found there, including quite a few little gifts for my nieces and nephews. Walk all the way down Tran Phu when you go; there are quite a few shops down there that have some really nice stuff and it doesn't feel quite as Disneyland-ish as the main part of Tran Phu.

Besides the horrible hotel experience, the faux-Viet Nam feeling of Hoi An was the worst part. Because we are living in a city with little contact with foreigners, there is no facade. Tam Ky is Viet Nam. This is how people really live and work and act. They don't speak English for us. They eat at the street corner. They talk very loudly. The shops are tiny and crowded with boxes and the streets are a bit dirty with garbage waiting to be picked up by the front steps. In Hoi An, everything is being cleaned, repainted and spiffed up, all the time. It felt like visiting a Chinese restaurant in America and having all the wait staff, chefs, etc. being Chinese, but knowing that this isn't what Chinese food is really like. It's modified for the Western palate. That's what Hoi An is like. It's Viet Nam, modified for the Westerner palate.

So, go to Hoi An when you get the chance. Have some clothes made, wander the market (it's bigger and a bit crazier than the one here in Tam Ky), but remember that it's been altered to make it easier for you (I.e. price quotes in USD, English-speaking clerks). Then hop on a bicycle and wander out of the city center, away from the other Westerners. And if you get the chance, visit another town. One that's on the map, but not in the guidebook. Like Tam Ky.