supreme row

Mrs Hanh never could say spring roll right, it always came out something like "supreme row" (the row rhyming with cow). I loved them, though, and finally got around to trying to make some with my sister's help. Here's the photos and my adaptation of the recipe:

Combine one chicken breast (minced while slightly frozen), 1 diced scallion, 1 minced garlic clove, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1 tsp. pepper, 1 oz. rice vermicelli (chopped into 1-inch pieces), 1/2 cup chopped carrots, 1/2 cup chopped zucchini, 3 minced shiitake mushrooms and 1 beaten egg. Mix it all together with your hands, chopsticks, fork, whatever. This part takes the longest.. getting everything cut-up. Give yourself a half hour to assemble it all.

In a separate bowl, beat 2 eggs. Using rice wrappers, let them soak for a minute or two in hot water, then using a pastry brush, brush eggs over both sides of rice wrapper. Put a tablespoon or mixture in the center of the wrapper. Fold over the sides, then roll tightly. Rinse and repeat. No, just repeat.


Fry them in hot oil for a few minutes, until nicely browned, then drain. Oh my gosh! Mmmm. They were gone within an hour or so. Delish!

frustration

My feelings of inadequacy, of incompetence, of failure continue to loom over me despite daily efforts to look on the bright side. I just wish I could see a way of being able to support my kids, but it all seems so impossible now. The frustration limits my ability to accomplish much, which just seems to add to the frustration. It's a stupid catch-22. I can't help but be angry at myself for coming back before I was financially or emotionally ready, but at the same time, Audrey confirms that it was the right thing for her. She's even gained 3kgs since we got back! I just wish there was a way to have what was best for me and best for her and Stuart at the same time, but it feels like an impossible dream.

I'm continuing to work on my website and helping Audrey out with her Viet Nam scrapbook, so the memories still flow, bringing smiles and laughs. Good times, man.

Only 5 days until Stuart comes back. I can hardly wait. I love that kid and miss his witty humor.

ah, nuts!

When we first headed abroad, I had been sure to pick up some filberts, a.k.a. hazelnuts, at Springbrook Hazlenut Farm. I worked there a decade ago, but have never found better nuts. (Look for the roasted and salted, they're my favorites.) I bought two small bags and brought them along with us to Vietnam as gifts. Oregon grows a lot of filberts, so I thought "What better Oregon-thing to bring along?!"

We found out though, when we finally brought one out for Mrs Hanh, that they all know about them anyway. In fact, I just heard on the radio yesterday:

For decades, German chocolate makers bought the lion's share for use in candies.

But about 5 years ago, Germany was displaced as the world's number one consumer of hazelnuts. And now this year, the Germans are third, Vietnam is second, and China consumes more hazelnuts than any other country.

Whoda thunk? The little country of Vietnam is second in hazelnut consumption--more than the U.S.? So, what I'd hope would be a unique gift, flopped. But Mrs Hanh didn't like them salted, anyway, so we got to eat them all. A little taste of home. And now, I'm eagerly awaiting the annual opening of the nut stand on Hwy. 99.

plugging away

I've been busy lately, which is a good thing. Been working for Steve a bit, but mostly been striving to get this new website up and going. Who knew it would be so much to do?! But I'm determined to get it done. Just may take another month at this rate. But when I get it finished, it'll be a kick-butt reference for those planning to travel to Vietnam, especially with their kids.

Audrey's eager for school to start and get re-acquainted with her friends. She's been assigned, by me, to make a scrapbook of our time abroad. It should prove interesting to see what's important and memorable to her, compared to my own feelings. First, we've got to sift through more than 8000 photos to find 30 that she can include. Not an easy task.

Stuart's still in Cali, still enjoying it, though I miss his company quite a lot. He makes me laugh with his wit, so I'm looking forward to being humored when he returns.


Getting back to Vietnam seems like a daunting task now. The amount of money I'll have to save/earn is staggering to me (I'd forgotten about that credit card I have to pay off first, oops!). But I refuse to give up the dream. It may take a little longer than I'd hoped, but I will go back. My heart belongs there.

obesity reminds me of food (or something like that)

This article from Viet Nam News is headlined:

When dieting doesn’t help, the obese pin hopes on acupuncture

Then it goes on to talk about this 50-year-old woman who was "obese" at 165cm and weighed 65kg. I'm in serious trouble! I always thought I was a bit soft (as my daughter once put it), but now I've found out I am obese. Who knew?

---

In other news, dragonfruit costs $7 each at Uwajimaya. Ouch. Banh mi cost $1 each, but I need it to try to make banh mi trung (one of the kids' faves). Anyone know what else goes on there beside fried egg, dried pork, cucumbers... what else?

---

Still no sua chua/yogurt. Color me blue.

Finally- good Phở Gà!

I've checked out a couple of places, though the visits have been few and far between. At an average cost of $6/bowl (versus 30cents in Viet Nam), phở gà has been an infrequent treat. Most have not been the delicious market taste that I so crave, but then we went to Phở Văn.

My mom ordered the phở gà (Vietnamese chicken noodle soup) and I spruced it up for her with a little green vegetables, bean sprouts and fresh-squeezed lemon. It tasted just like the market in Thanh Hoa and I, quite honestly, couldn't have been much happier.

I had Bún Bò Huế ("round shanghai rice noodles, beef shank, slices of chả lụa, and picnic pork in a spicy lemongrass beef broth") which was delicious and spicy. I used to dislike the heat of spicy food, but grew to almost enjoy the burn of chilies. Crazy, but true.

Audrey tried the cơm gà (rice with grilled, lemongrass-marinated chicken), a variation of the kind we'd made in Tam Ky. It came with some nước mắm that was made to perfection. None too fishy and perfectly seasoned.

My sister chose the Bún Tôm Thịt ("pork marinated in honey and lemongrass and shrimp grilled over an open flame") and while not a fan of shrimp, found it quite delicious.

The prices are reasonable for America (insane for Viet Nam!), but the food was wonderful. Very authentic Vietnamese flavor, presented in a more Western fashion. No plastic chairs or wooden benches. No napkins tossed to the floor after use. While I miss all that periphery as well, it was so good to have the taste of Viet Nam again.

flooding

I just read about the flooding in Viet Nam and I can't quite articulate how it makes my heart hurt. The death toll stands at 43 as of this morning (up from 6 on Monday); I'm sure there will be more due to the waters taking over. Just terrible. More children to the orphanages, to be sure.

I miss Viet Nam so much. I've been on a hunt for good Vietnamese food, but so far I've been bitterly disappointed. We had pho ga, it was okay. Bought watermelon seeds, but they weren't the same. Trying desperately to find sua chua, but no luck yet. I might just see if I can swing by Uwajimya and see what they've got. I miss the food, the fruit, the people.

Toi yeu VN mai mai.

the light at the end of the tunnel

I figured if I kept myself from sinking too far, something would come along to help me up and out of the spiraling frustration. Ah, finally. My son's friend's father asked me to help out with tasks around his office and will pay me for it-woohoo! I'll be doing that and while helping him out, learn some more about web design as well.

I also got two calls (finally!) for job interviews yesterday. One this morning for a mentor/coach position, working with high schoolers. The second for a substitute paraeducator position, working with special ed kids. We'll see what happens, but I've got a few possibilities, which is way better than it was looking a few days ago.

And now Stuart will be "working" as well, heading to my sister's in Los Angeles to help out as a live-in nanny for her older daughter. Stuart is excited; it's his first flight alone, he gets to take care of Lily and he gets to hang out with my sister. Sweet.

I reminded him that's he unlikely to ever have a summer again that, when asked "Where did you go on your summer vacation?," he can answer "Ha Noi, Thanh Hoa, Hong Kong, Shenzhen, Shanghai, Vancouver, San Juan Islands, Seattle, Portland and Los Angeles." Lucky kid.

And my friend Sparrow's baby decided to make her entry into the world after a long wait. Yea for babies (especially when I didn't have to be the one pushing!).

Celebrations

Happy Birthday to my sister, Stephanie! And Happy Anniversary to you and Will tomorrow.

Lots of love, all around.

life

First some good news: I got an assignment to write three articles for an upcoming family travel website. It won't garner much money, but right now any money is good. I also had an interview for a tutor position; that went pretty well, so hopefully that will work out and give me 5-10 hours/week.

But that's part of the bad news: I don't know how I am possibly going to make enough money to live on our own. I need to be making at least $20/hour, but I can't find anything that pays more than $13. At this rate, I'll be commuting an hour-plus to school and work everyday for months. A bit disappointing to say the least. The cost of housing is astronomical and there are so many expenses above and beyond rent (all those school loans comin' due, too) that it's even more impossible.

It's causing more stress and I can't help but be a bit angry about being here, struggling so hard to find a way to support ourselves, when we were living a wealthy, independent life in Vietnam. I'm fiercely independent and this lost ability to do what is my responsibility is frustrating, disheartening and embarrassing. Life is so hard here and I can't even fully explain how deeply it affects everything about me. I'm trying not to hate my life now. Yet so recently I was the happiest I'd ever been. The 180-degree shift has left my head whirling, my stomach ill and my spirit crying.

There's a small part of me that wishes I'd never known such sheer joy in life, that maybe it wasn't for the best; I certainly wouldn't know what I am missing now.

up for grabs

So I brought back two lovely little purses from Viet Nam and finally got those listed on eBay, plus I've got three of these tees left (1 small black, 1 small white, 1 medium white). Only the black tee is listed on eBay, but I'll list the others today if you'd rather do it that way.