On Our Own

Stream-of-consciousness tales of a single mom and her two kids as we embark on a life-altering adventure.

31 July 2007

where it stands

Still jobless. I've turned in 12 applications/resumes and not one call-back. Working on queries, but having a hard time suddenly. Job hunting is so much harder here. And, strangely, no one has required my photo along with the CV. ha. That was strange the first time it was requested in Ha Noi, but it's very common, I found out.

My sister-in-law is selling her house and darn it, I'd buy it if I could find a way. Check it out. Seriously, beautiful home in beautiful Oregon.

29 July 2007

Morning after

So, I guess I had some info wrong about the start and end time. I'd been told midnight to midnight, but in actuality it was 6am to 6am (PST). I think it's the time zone thing that messed me up. Oh well. It was still good for me to do and it raised a little money for the Tam Ky orphans. That gets added to the clothes I got for them. Now, on to finding blankets and a way to get it all to them.

First, I've got to make some breakfast for my kids.

28 July 2007

bedtime

It's the midnight post and I'm tired. I'm glad I did the blogathon and got some some stuff posted that I've been wanting to get up online. Must keep up with it. Thanks for accompanying me on my revisiting Viet Nam.

It's time for some real writing, queries and all that fun stuff. I applied to four jobs while blogging today, too. So who knows... something is bound to come up. Right?

g'night

Books

What I'm reading:
On Writing Well by William Zinsser
Mirror, Mirror by Gregory Maguire

What I read over the past seven months:
Monkey Dancing: A Father, Two Kids, and a Journey to the Ends of the Earth by Daniel Glick
Shadows and Wind: A Modern View of Viet Nam by Robert Templer
Vietnam: A Quick Guide to Customs and Etiquette from Culture Smart
The Professor and the Madman by Simon Winchester
Frangiapani by Celestine Vaite
Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night by Mark Haddon
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Gypsy World:The Silence of the Living and the Voices of the Dead by Patrick Williams
The Anthropology of Real Life: Events in Human Experience by Philip Carl Salzman

fave: Look, it's me!


He was so excited to have the photograph of him and his buddy that he wanted me to take another photo of him with the photograph.

fave: Stuart


He was a great sport with the kids at the Tam Ky orphanage, even when they tied him up with jump ropes.

favorite photos


Audrey as a pirate in Ha Long Bay.

asian toilets (aka squats)

A lot of people ask about the squat toilets, so here's a brief rundown.

They're not nearly as awful as people assume. They are just different. Remember to keep pocket packs of tissue since toilet paper is a rare commodity in some places (especially on the trains). Don't try to do any thigh-burning squats, just drop the booty down. The hose and sprayer scare people, as well, but if you learn to use them it will make life easier. Use the toilet paper only to dry. :) Often you must throw the used tissue into a trash can, so doing it this way keeps the smell down (sorry!).

If there is a bucket of water, do not use it to wash yourself, but rather as a way to 'flush' the toilet.

Bathrooms are a big deal for a lot of people, but if you just do what the locals do (or a slight variation) it will make it a bit easier for everyone. Don't be scared. :)

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Restaurants in Ha Noi

Chuc Linh: 73 Hang Bac-**
Okay food, but nothing to brag about. I ate fried rice (com rang rau) that was pretty good, but Audrey's pasta was tasteless. Stuart had a hamburger and they did a nice job with that, included ketchup even. Not bad, but I doubt we'd go back.

Ciao Cafe: 02 Hang Bai-*****

We eaten here a number of times and have never been disappointed. Chicken Cordon Bleu, cheeseburgers, lasagna, pizza, garlic bread, lemon juice... it's all good. It is quite hip inside and very Western, but the prices were still reasonable and the fruit drinks were delicious. Seemed to be the place for late 20-somethings to meet up with friends and chat (both live and on their mobiles). Free WiFi during specific hours (not traditional meal times).
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Al Fresco's: 23L Hai Ba Trung-****
A hit with the kids, this place was a taste of home, for sure. Feeling a bit homesick for the US? Come here and it's like you're back on American soil, sans the 20-hour flight. Labeled as Tex-Mex in our guidebook, I was a bit dubious of the quality in a country so far from Mexico, but they do a darn fine job with it. We had a chicken quesadilla (can you say tiny?), potato wedges w/ bacon and sour cream, and small nachos. There were plenty of potatoes and nachos, but the quesadilla was the size of a tea saucer. The prices are high for the quality of food, but the kids love it. They have a coloring contest and a spin-the-wheel games for the little ones.

Papa Joe's Coffee: 112 Cau Go-***

Same Western-style food as their sister restaurant Al Fresco's, but we like this place for their ice cream and wi-fi. Their soft-serve is some of the best we've had and seeing as it's in the middle of the Old Quarter/Hoan Kiem area, we pass it far too often. They have an all-you-can-eat ice cream bar, always a hit with kids. The paninis are pretty darn good and on Thursdays they're buy one get one free. They also have a lunch special of soup, fried rice and drink for about 35,000VND. Sit up on the third floor for the best view and enjoy the wi-fi and some dessert.

The Garden: 36 Hang Manh-*****
Billed as inexpensive in our guidebook, we found it to be more moderate in price, but worth every bit. Excellent Vietnamese food; easily the best fried rice in town. It's nice enough to have fabric napkins, but relaxed enough that I didn't feel too out of place with kids in tow. Opens at 5pm for dinner.

A Little Italian Restaurant: 78 Tho Nhuon-****

Our first trip here was on the recommendation of a friend; he was right about it. It's a classy little restaurant, but go at off-times and the kids won't bother anyone. The thin-crust pizza is excellent, especially the slightly funky versions. The pasta carbonara was good, but the pizza is where they excelled. And on Saturdays, the pizza was (is?) half-price. Score! Good food at a good price.

Meat shish-ke-bob lady: on Hang Be-***
Okay, so there are a few ladies selling shish-ke-bobs (meat on a stick) on the street, but we particulary like the one near the Ha Noi Spirit House (see above). She charges us 3000VND each (half the price the other woman charged us) and they are so yummy. Two of those and a bowl of rice... a simple dinner for 10-15,000VND (less than $1USD), depending on where you buy a bowl of rice.

Moca Cafe: 68 Nha Tho-****

The closest I could possibly come to a Portland cafe in Ha Noi. The atmosphere is strictly expat with the prices to prove it. The food is delicious and tastes pretty close to homemade. The breakfast menu is especially good: french toast, banana pancakes and waffles (the kids' faves). And hands-down, the best cheesecake in the country.

KFC: (near Vincom Tower)-**

Same ol' fast food, but in smaller portions and smaller prices. We were bitterly disappointed in the lack of barbecue sauce, but must admit that the kids got a kick out of this novelty. Same kid's meal with a toy, just in a different country. Not the same biscuit though, to my own disappointment. Here it's been replaced by a bread roll. One time was enough.

BBQ Chicken:-**
A Korean chain of fast food restaurants, it opened in March here in Ha Noi. The prices are quite high, but the quality was fair. They have Coke Chicken, which is a strange sounding concoction, but stranger in reality. It's simply a large cup of Coke with a special lid that sits down in the cup and holds a small handful of popcorn chicken. We couldn't quite figure out why? it needed to be this way, but we were stumped.

Rating: *=Terrible *****=Excellent

Copyright 2007 VietnamWithKids.com

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Favorite Places in Ha Noi

Museum of Ethnology a great place for all of us with plenty of interesting things to see, including a variety of ethnic minority houses


The Children's Park at Lenin Park
several play areas for different ages and abilities, plus a so-called roller coaster and plenty of walking paths

One Pillar Pagoda (Chua Mot Cot)not so interesting to see for the kids, but it's a must-see just because you'll recognize it elsewhere as a symbol of Ha Noi

Temple of Literature (Quoc Tu Giam) an ancient university of sorts, the grounds are lovely to walk in and beautiful for photos

Hoan Kiem Lake the center of the city, it's best early in the morning before the tourists hit

St. Joseph's Cathedral an excellent navigational point in the Old Quarter, watch for Sunday services.


Vincom Tower
head to the top floor for the arcade and a great break from the sellers and tourists

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Name those seeds.



They are watermelon seeds and eaten much like Americans eat sunflower seeds. Usually eating watermelon seeds is something to do to pass the time while chatting and you'll see them covering the ground at many outdoor cafes. Vietnamese bite them in a particular way and pry them open with their tongues. I could never quite nail it, but, no surprise, Audrey did it like a native.

I miss watermelon seeds.

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Last day in Tam Ky (journal)

5 March 2007
This is it--our last day. We went to the Baby Orphanage, after some mad packing after breakfast and dragging it all downstairs, with the other volunteers. All our replacements. I'm really going to miss those kids. I love playing iwth them and being silly with them. Lan has really attached herself to me and I feel bad that I have to just leave. It's been such a great experience and I'm so connected to them all. The twin hellion girls. The little rambunctious boys. The quiet ones, especially Quy even though she cries all the time.

Each little kid has their own little thing that I will remember about them. It's so hard to leave and I just hope that they will be loved. It's amazing how close I've become to the kids here; I knew I would enjoy it, but I really didn't think it would be quite this strong of a bond with them. I really do wish I could do more them--take one or two home with me. Or something. It feels a bit frustrating. These kids are so wonderful and loving and really just need to be loved a bit more.

We said a quick goodbye, as to avoid the tears, then hurried back to the house to make sure all of our stuff was packed. We still had more (shoes, books) and decided to leave some (clarinet, clothes) to get later.

Mr. Hanh had to go back and get the other volunteers; we waited at the house watching time pass and consoling Mrs Hanh, who was crying pretty darn hard. I felt so bad for her, for Audrey. We've grown to love Mrs Hanh very much and even though we have plans to come back, it is still hard to say goodbye.

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creativity required (journal)

9 March 2007
The power's out and we've run out of things to do. We've made shadow puppets, read by candlelight, told stories and tried watch a video on the computer, but the battery died. Ugh! It's not even 8pm. Stuart, not too surprisingly, is already tired and could go to sleep, but Audrey is still wired. Double ugh! We've been power-less for about three hours so far. It's one of the odd things about Viet Nam. Power is never guaranteed. We've lost power in every city we have been in. We've lost it everyday we've been in Ha Noi this time. I don't know why. It wasn't so bad elsewhere. It's strange when it's out for so long. And it's out in a huge area, too, almost as far as we can see to the north and west of us. To the east, just a couple of blocks away they have power. Probably our old hotel has power. Bummer.

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creepy crawlies



What the Vietnamese lack in stature is more than equalized by the size of the creepy crawlies they've got running around here. Prior to my first encounter, folks had warned me about the size and danger of the numerous insects and spiders, but always in a third-generation "My best friend's cousin's nephew was in 'Nam and he said..." Yeah, whatever, thanks anyway.

Admittedly, I was a bit wary, hoping I'd make it through without seeing anything with eight (or more) legs worthy of documenting on film. I managed to sleep right through the first sighting, only 12 days into our stay, but Audrey was brave enough to wield the camera.

Clare, Jo and Leah had quickly developed a comraderie that was slowly including us, but with our disparate ages it wasn't easy. Audrey was half Clare's age and I was double of Clare's. Stuart was the closest in age, only a few years younger, but factor in the different gender and the bond was slow-growing. Besides we were a trio, a self-made group that didn't need the socialization with the other volunteers as much as they needed each other. We talked to each other far more than we ever spoke to anyone else, not the best idea perhaps, but it is the way we work.

One night the trio was downstairs talking and giggling, but it soon changed to quiet screams and laughing. Audrey awoke to their noise and crept out to the landing to call down to them. "What are you guys doing?" she asked, only to find out that there was an enormous spider in the kitchen. Ever the curious one, she ran down the stairs to check it out.

Sure enough, there by the glass-less window was an enormous spider--the size of a saucer--perched on the wall. This wasn't one to be smacked by a rolled up magazine or a shoe. It was huge. A bit of "You kill it." "No, you!" went on before Claire got brave enough to spray it with the ant poison that was kept in the kitchen.

She sprayed and sprayed while the thing twitched, turned brown, started convulsing and, to the horror of everyone, started throwing its babies out. A hundred or more tiny clone-like spiders shot out webs and started toward the floor, away from the rapidly expiring mother spider. Claire sprayed while the others screamed. The excitement ended soon enough though and everyone comforted each other--there's no spider tonight, nothing to scare us. But no one slept very peacefully.

sick and tired (journal)

4 March 2007
I woke up this morning feeling kind of icky, but within an hour I felt like I was going to die. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but I did feel really horrible. Like I had bad bronchitis or possibly pneumonia again. That kind of sick where all you can do is cry. So bad. Stuart was very helpful, putting the laundry up to dry and lying with me for a bit. Audrey made me a really sweet get well card, too. I was real worried about our trip to Ha Noi tomorrow. Mrs Hanh was very worried, too ("Teresa coming hospital!") so I told her what the problem was--very tired, hard to breath, and my chest was hurting. She said she had been sick this week, too, and said it was the same for her. I have a disgusting cough to go along with it, though. I've been dealing with this cough since before Tet [I still have the cough.]

Anyway, Mrs Hanh assured me that she had some medicine for me. At this point, I'm willing to endure being scraped with a silver spoon if it might make me feel better. She went back home and brought a little square packet: "Meko coramin" and "Mekophar." No idea what that means, but I'm desperate, so I took the square tablet, as directed by Mrs Hanh: Place it on my tongue and let it dissolve slowly.

Pauline took the kids out for a bike ride (with helmets, as always) and let me rest plus chat with Lee for a bit. It was super nice of her. The night before we'd joked that we looked like a happy lil' family at the coffee shop: Dad, Mom, two kids and Grandma. Today she acted like a grandma, taking the kids so I could rest. So very sweet.

Within about an hour of taking/eating the tablet, I was back to 80%. Felt so much better Seriously amazing. The pain in my chest was gone and I no longer felt an intense desire to cry myself to sleep. Ah, the joy of unknown meds. ha!

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Lunch at the Tam Ky Baby Orphanage

Monkey Dancing, the novel

I started reading Monkey Dancing about a year ago. Okay, maybe a bit less than that...10 months or so. It was a required reading for a travel writing class at PSU that I wanted to take, but couldn't fit it in. So I bought the text instead. It is, as the subtext says, the story of "A father, two kids, and a journey to the ends of the earth." Daniel Glick decided to take his kids on an adventure they'd never forget and traveled through Australia, SE Asia, and Europe with them (joined for a short stint by his girlfriend). It's a great story and in so many ways I related to his stories. His children were 9 and 13, the boy is oldest. Mine are 9 and 14, Stuart is older. He's divorced. His daughter whined, so did mine. He felt passion for the difference that he was making in his children's mind and also in the writing he did during and after his trip. I am dedicated to my children and the orphans in Viet Nam, though my ability to spread the message is limited to this blog (for now). His stories rang so true and I knew just what he felt at many points along the way.

A great read and definitely recommended for travelers, parents and interested bystanders. It was published in 2003 by Public Affairs Books. Look for it at your locally-owned bookstore or order it through him.

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Han (journal entry)

9 February 2007
Another lovely day in Tam Ky, Viet Nam. The weather is gorgeous, though I will admit to it taking its toll on me when I ride out to the orphanage. It makes me more tired, so it's a bit harder to play with the kids. Not the way they want me to, at least. They really love the grabbing and tickling and chasing and carrying, but it's hard to do that after getting all sweaty and tired from the bike ride.

Today I rode in the car-only the third time to the Baby Orphanage. Jo and Charlie came along, as well as Kim, so it was quite a crew of us--nine of us in all. The kids all seemed to love it, though, especially to have another 'boy' to play with.

We picked up Han on the way to the Baby Orphanage. She lives at the Rehab Hospital during the week, but comes back to the orphanage on the weekends. She came to the orphanage five or six months ago. First, her grandmother brought her in, but they would not take her because she is disabled (no muscle tone or control in her lower body). So that night the grandmother left Han in front of the orphanage. GVN volunteers felt really bad for her and two of them are paying for her hospital stay and rehabilitation.

There's high hope for her gaining muscle strength since Mrs. Hanh's son Trung had the same sort of issue going on and he lived at the hospital for two years and now he can walk okay. Still has a lot of trouble with eating, but his muscle strength is much better. So there is hope for Han to get a bit better. Stuart seems to like her a lot. She laughs at his antics--always a good thing.

[Rumor has it that Han is being adopted by an American family. I can only hope it's true; she's such a cutie.]

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unpublished

An article I wrote, but haven't had anyone grab yet....


Making a Small Difference in the World
In central Vietnam, a single-parent family finds purpose

The young children, barely able to conceal their anticipation, stood shoulder-to-shoulder across the steps of the Tam Ky Baby Orphanage, straining to see us, the new volunteers, tucked into an aged, white Fiat.

Our first meeting was a clumsy mix of high-fives, stares and run-by leg slaps. The orphans were testing us, I'd later realize, and I worried that committing to volunteer at the orphanage for two months was the worst idea I'd ever followed through on.

Ten months prior, I had suggested volunteering in Vietnam to my two children, then 8 and 13. They agreed and over the summer, then fall, and into winter we made the preparations: obtaining passports, applying for our visas, and then selling most of belongings to finance the trip.

Now as I stood in the chilly, concrete play area, surrounded by faces filled with curiosity, doubt and a tinge of fear, I couldn't help but wonder what exactly I had gotten us into. After the first hour, when I heard the giggles of both my kids and the orphans, I no longer worried. This was indeed worth everything we'd sacrificed to get here.


Every morning, for the next eight weeks, we visited the Baby Orphanage, a small, cement complex of rooms, to play with the children. My son Stuart, as the only male to interact with the children, was an immediate rock star; at each arrival he was swarmed by his admiring fans and two hours later, the children would have to be pried off his back, his shoulders, his legs.

Audrey, my nine-year-old daughter, let her nurturing instincts peek through and spent much of the time with a trio of orphans we nicknamed The 3 Musketeers--they were always together. Our daily visits promoted a wonderful friendship and she became particularly close to Kieu, an spunky little 2-year-old girl who had been abandoned within the first few days of our stay.

Quang, a delightful 5-year-old, had immediately connected with Stuart and the developed a relationship that ended all too abruptly when an American family came to adopt him. Wishes of luck were voiced, but tears were shed in private.

Despite the inability to communicate or, even pronounce their names correctly, our family developed a fondness for the numerous children who called this place home. Some had been there for years, others, like Kieu had been there a short while. Each has their own personality, their own quirks that emblazoned their faces into our memories for a lifetime.


While my children played with the orphans, I often found myself in the baby room, a barren room except for the large, wooden slat beds where the babies laid until we came to hold them. Covered in mosquito nets that sat over them like small umbrellas, the babies were more than eager to be cuddled, kissed and sung to; I was more than happy to oblige.

The orphanages, like the country as a whole, are very poor. The food provided for the children was limited to rice gruel--three times a day, a diet that lacks in many of the required vitamins and minerals necessary for young children. To combat the problem in some small way, we brought fruit at each visit, their only fresh produce for the day, and learned the Vietnamese word for each kind, yelling out a mangled "Dua!" or "Le!" as we brought in the bags.

Several children faced serious malnutrition issues prior to their arrival and despite the orphanage "mothers" doing all they could, they simply couldn't put on much weight. We brought along sua chua (yogurt) for the extra calories they so desperately needed.

Our two months as volunteers were filled with myriad activities: near-constant games of chase for my son (the official rough-houser for the group), consoling the criers, playing kitchen with the few battered toys available, bottle-feeding babies. I watched from the side many mornings, pleased to watch as my children shared themselves with these strangers who had quickly become friends, regardless of the cultural differences. Communication had be limited to gestures, but somehow the kids had managed, even flourished.

This, the connection between cultures, between countries, was what I had hoped for all those months prior when, sitting in a cafe on a drizzly March morning in Portland, when I marked on the application: "Vietnamese Orphanage, 2 months."

traffic in QN

Speaking of Quang Ngai and traffic... I just came across this interesting bit of news. Seems that it's the most accident prone province with more than 150 traffic accidents in the first six months of the year, with 52 casualties. Terrible.

The English is pretty good, but I can't help but be entertained by the grammar and word choice.

Despite heartbreaking accidents, crashes and falling stones, as well as drastic measures taken by local authorities, money thirsting drivers defiantly keep racing on the way. Asked why driving so fast, some frankly reply they are in a hurry just because they want to make as much money as possiple.

http://www.quangngai.gov.vn/quangngai/english/news/2007/22101/

suicide vans

One of the ways that locals get around the country is by using what are often called buses (xe buyt), but are really just modified mini-vans. They add side seats and allow people to stand, put a bench seat in the front and stuff as many people in as possible. We took one to and from Quang Nhai to visit the My Lai Massacre site.
They are commonly referred to as suicide vans because the drivers go as fast as they can, down whatever lane they feel like and you really are signing over your life. Made for an interesting adventure:


25 February 2007
Whoa. What a loooooong day. I was so exhausted by the time I got home. We'd walked for about 4 or 5 km from the bus stop to home, after riding in a stuffed mini-van. And I do mean stuffed. There were 21 people in a vehicle that normally holds 7-9 people. Insane. We were so squished in: Stuart crammed against the window with my left hip slightly overlapping his right hip and Audrey laying across our laps. My legs were pinned between a bag and the front seat. I quickly lost my shoe and all feeling in my feet. Mette and Hannah wedged themselves in next to me and were held in place by the riders standing between the seats and the door. And for all that comfort we paid 70,000VND each (almost $13USD).

poetic


Herons
White wings
stretched open
embrace the sky
sailing, floating
over the easy sway
of green tendrils.

15 Feb 2007

pondering the music

Stuart made a good point today. For the list of "What Hasn't Changed in 7 Months," I can add music on 94.7fm. I generally like the station, but they are playing the exact same songs that they played nearly a year ago. Boooring.

What we really need is an iPod that works again. We have Stuart's Shuffle, but my big one and Audrey's Shuffle died along the way. Put that on my list of things to buy soon. I miss my decent variety of music and the opportunity to listen to audiobooks while wandering random sidewalks. I do love walking and listening.

I'll get some pics up soon.

the view from here

Well, I gotta go get Stuart from his long visit with his friend, so I'll be gone for a bit over an hour. Bad timing, but oh well. Here's a couple photos of my view, first from where I sit typing and then out to my left. Yeah, it's pretty in Oregon:

cravings

Before you get scared, no, I'm not preggers.

I stayed with my good friend Goolie the other night and I had the most insane craving for rice and fruit. I wanted it so bad, I went to the store, bought dried rice and some bananas, a peach and mixed melons. Came back to her house and cooked up the rice, then happily ate it with soy sauce and chopsticks. I used a mug instead of a bowl, but even with the minor variations, it felt like home. Oh yes, I do love fruit and rice.

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Classes at the Home of Affection

Thao
5 February 2007
We visited the Baby Orphanage in the morning and that went well. Stuart stayed home with a sore throat, so I tried to fill in a bit doing the physical play--running around with kids on my back, etc. It was pretty fun and it's nice that the kids are finally starting to like me. Today they actually blew me kisses goodbye. Just a couple of them, but it was really sweet. Made me feel like I'm getting somewhere with them. The beginning with them was so awful--just chaotic and mean. Now they are much better. Thank goodness because I was really worried about being here for two months and now I know it will be okay and go fast anyway. We only have just over two weeks of classes. Okay, so i counted and there's only 11 days of teaching this whole month. That's crazy! Well, I can do that. We have 15-25 February with no work because of the Tet holiday.

So the afternoon class at the Home of Affection went pretty well. I have four kids--Son, Huy, Trinh and Thao. Thao is a bright girl, but with a rebellious streak in her. The boys are pretty nice, but Huy is my favorite. He always tries hard to do what I want him to. Very cute. They all are a bit ornery, but not too bad now. Thank goodness. It was so hard for a while.

The train from Hue

train
We went to the pastry shop before leaving town and bough about a dozen to take back to the GVN house, yummy! Then back to the hotel, checked out ($45) and caught a cab to the train station. We got there about 45 minutes early, but it was okay. Our train got there at 8:37a.m. and we got first car again, soft seats with air con. It was finally sunny (now that we are leaving) so the train ride was really beautiful. We got a bunch of photos--again.

In Da Nang a bunch of people got off the train, so we split up a bit so we could be more comfortable. Audrey was practicing writing Vietnamese, adding to her book. It always draws attention (she gets plenty already) so soone enough, we were surrounded by train employees. All watching her, helping with the marks/tones. Then one of the fellows started asking questions, in Vietnamese so we had to try to translate via the phrasebook, about her dad. Audrey explained through pictures that we divorced. He asked something that I thought was something like "Do you have a Vietnamese boyfriend?" and I said no, then Audrey drew a heart with "Khong yeu" (no love) written inside it. Come to find out, it meant "Do you want a Vietnamese husband?" Completely different question! I can't help but wonder what he thought the 'no love in her heart' drawing meant.

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animals (journal entry)

16 January 2007
Courtney emailed Audrey and asked about the weird animals in Viet Nam, but there aren't many, mostly it's just that they are in weird places, like chickens at the motorbike shop, water buffalo on the main street, dogs roasted at the market, cattle roaming the fields. Which reminds me--we saw dogs on the way to their demise yesterday. There were five or six packed into a box on the back of a motorbike. Still alive, but laying squished together on top of each other. A bit disconcerting. I don't really have a problem with them eating dog (to each their own), but seeing any animal go to the slaughter gives me the creeps. Icky.

Other strange things:
cactus I never would have thought it grew here.
fruit it's everywhere to be sold, but where does it grow?
gravel made of marble and granite
internet cafes like coffee shops in Portland-they are everywhere!
ice cream & cookies they just suck here
Milo with sweetened condensed milk, it is heaven :)
gov't officials standing with machine guns at gov't buildings
coughing kids get yelled at when coughing to distract them

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the market in Tam Ky

Tam Ky market
6 January 2007

...After lunch was the market. Whee! It was fantastic for all the fabrics. Crazy prices, like 20,000VND ($1.10) per yard. I bough enough fabric for two dresses and two tops for about 250,000VND (about $15USD). And one dress is lined. It'll cost about $20 to have them made. How crazy is that?!

I ended up buying all with with polka dots fabric, except for some fake Hello Kitty fabric with a red background (though it did have some dots sprinkled around). Cute.

The tailor came over later in the evening and did all the measuring for our stuff. I'm getting two button-front tops, a housewife dress and a copy of my China dress [sent by Tommy's parents last fall]. I need to have her make a couple of dark ones like that, too. Just have to find the right fabric. Maybe at the end of the trip?

The market was crazy and the kids were the center of attention. They are one of the few (if not the ONLY) Western children they have ever seen. As Western adults, we got stared at, but the kids were mobbed. People have no problem coming up to them, pulling them close, pinching Audrey's nose, touching their faces, etc. And the staring! It just goes on and on. Poor Audrey grew more and more frustrated, but luckily Jo, Claire, Leah and Mrs. Hanh all took a bit of pity on her and Stuart and we just kind of circled the kids. It's really hard being the strange one, though. It's a fascination with our whiteness, which is seen as beautiful. It's a bit depressing because I think all skin color is beautiful, not just white. The women powder their faces and stay indoors, just to appear whiter.

Hopefully the fascination will taper down a bit over time, but who knows. For the kids' sake, I hope it does.

Truc at the Home of Affections

5 January 2007 continued
We came back for lunch, I went to the internet cafe (2000VND/hr-cheap!) and sent a few emails, then we headed out again. This time to the Home of Affection. It's much closer, less than 10 minutes by bike.

It was quite different from the baby orphanage because it is also a school and the play area was larger, but not covered. The kids there range from 4-16 years old. Many have one (or both) parents alive, but they were too poor or the government took them.

The 16-year-old is Nga and she is deaf. She is fluent in sign and so we were having a good time trying to communicate. There are many differences [between American Sign Language and Vietnamese Sign Language], but I was able to pick up a bit of it. She was teaching me more and I'm hoping to get fairly decent at it by the time we leave.

There is another child there who is supposedly 16, but he has something wrong with him [Added: we were later told he was 14, so I don't know how old he really is]. He is about the size of a 6- or 7-year-old and has the mental ability of someone around 4 years old. It was shocking to find out his age. He always wants to be held and just repeats "Hello. How are you?" over and over.

This seems to be the key phrase that people learn. The other is "Hello. What is your name?" Everywhere we go people should "Hello!" and, sometimes, the other bits as well.

Some of the kids at the orphanage can speak pretty well, mostly the older girls who were a bit awestruck by Stuart. Too funny.

Today we just visited, but next week we will start teaching there. My kids were a bit bored and happy to leave; we'll see how next week goes.

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Tu (journal entry, part 2)

5 January 2007 (continued)
Oh, there's also a little boy there who is 6 years old and, honestly, the size of an 18-month-old [okay, maybe 2]. His brain is fine, but his body has just stopped growing. Yen says that when she met him two years ago, he was the same size. They feed him extra with GVN volunteers bringing him yoghurt several times a week, but it hasn't made any difference yet. Sad, but he's adorable and seems fine with his size. It makes him very nimble and quick. He's like a little monkey the way he runs around and does flips.

The babies range from one week to eight months old and except for Fat Baby (his nickname), they are all tiny lil' things. So fragile looking.

One of the kids told Yen that Audrey had something stuck on her legs. Yen looked and come to find out they didn't recognize that it was hair. Their bodies are hairless. None on their arms or legs. We are hairy beasts in comparison.

We spent about an hour there and by the time Stuart left, he was nice and sweaty. Those of us that rode bikes out, rode them back, though it was a bit tougher on the way home since we were a bit tired out. It was a fun ride, though, riding down little one lane roads past chickens and water buffalo. Odd but fantastic. I know that we will never forget this place, this whole experience.

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volunteering: day one

Journal entry: 5 January 2007

Our first full day in our new home and it went pretty well. I was fairly nervous about it, but it was all okay in the end. We had breakfast (yea for fruit and yoghurt!) then took off to visit the baby orphanage.

The name is a bit of a misnomer as there are many more little kids than babies. But they take babies and keep them until age 18 or until adopted. Right now, two of the babies are getting ready to be adopted by foreigners. I have mixed feelings about that because it seems a bit colonialist to come in and take the babies, but no one here adopts babies, so they are stuck there forever if the foreigners don't take them. Well, until they are 18, but that seems like forever. Their chances for a good (prosperous, educated, comfortable) life are much better if adopted by foreigners, but... still there's something about it that bothers me.

We also found out that if the father dies, the government will often take the child(ren) away from the mother and put them in the orphanage. I feel so bad for the poor mother. First she loses her husband, then her child(ren). How depressing.

The orphanage wasn't too terrible. Very different from what you'd see in the States (do we even have orphanages there?). All the buildings are concrete with barred windows (this is the main style of building for everything). They form a rectangle around the playground which is about 40 ft by 25 ft. There are some metal swings, bench-style, and a TV, a teeter-totter and a small play structure with a slide and a couple of swings. Very minimal. Most of it is on cement, but the play set is on a softer rubber material. They also brought out some toys (volunteers hold the key to the cupboard) and the kids flipped out, they were so excited.

There were about 10 kids little kids there, from 3-12 years old. Most were 4-6 years old, it seemed. Then there were six babies if I remember correctly.

We'd ridden bikes out there (Leah, me and Claire) and got there 5 minutes before Jo, my kids and Yen, the organizer. When Stuart and Audrey first arrived it was a bit shocking for them. The orphan kids just gathered around and stared. It took about five minutes or so before they loosened up and everyone started playing together. Stuart was great with the kids--just as I'd expected. He played chase and catch and gave them airplane rides. It was awesome to watch them all play. Audrey latched onto Trinh, a small girl in a yellow hat, and a set of twins [Thao and Trang]. She seemed very happy and that was great to see.

It was a hard decision to do this and was especially hard to do at the end, but we managed somehow and it seems to be working.

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volunteers


Jo came from Australia to volunteer with GVN in Tam Ky. She was there for only a month and in that time we became good friends, but she and Audrey became sisters. She's a ton of fun and loved to run and play with the orphans, chasing and carrying them as much as they wanted. She was an all-star volunteer. Having her leave was pretty hard; Audrey wrote the most heart-wrenching goodbye letter ever. Still makes me teary-eyed.

As volunteers there, we are all excited to be there and quickly fall in love with those kids. The first couple of days, granted, were hard. Who knows what to expect? I know I only had some rough ideas and most were wrong. Soon enough, they wiggle their way in and you build bonds with them. It's such a strange thing, too, considering we can't really communicate beyond gestures. Somehow we all manage to understand each other and over time the friendship and the trust grows. It's the best part about volunteering. The kids know you are coming and wait patiently on the front steps for the bikes to pull in, for the car to park. Out we'd pour from the car and they'd run up and give us big leg-hugs, wanting to be picked up and carried as much as possible. Stuart always got mobbed on arrival. Being the only boy certainly had some perks when it came to popularity.

The only bad thing is that we all have to leave. There's no staying forever, though Hannah (who stayed for five months) might argue with that. And while the volunteer may grow tired of the simple, repetitive life of Tam Ky, it's never easy. There are always tears shed, sometimes a stunning amount. And yet, the orphans are oblivious to our sadness, kept sheltered from knowing that we are leaving and unlikely to return.

We were lucky and stayed in Viet Nam long enough for a return visit to the orphanage, but it wasn't smooth sailing the second time around.

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sweet


Hang and An
from the Home of Affection

Caroline


While scouring through our more than 8000 photos from our time in Viet Nam, I came across pictures of this baby. I was contacted a while ago by her prospective adoptive mother to find out if I had any information or more photos on this baby. I didn't know her name or any facts, but I did have a few more pictures (and I think I found even more!). Come to find out, she already had one of my photos from the orphanage with her daughter and my son with the orphanage 'mother.'

Checking back on her blog this morning to assure myself that I had the right baby in the photos, I was happy to find out that they've arrived in Viet Nam, made it down to Tam Ky and are now on their way home. In fact (if I can remember what day it is) they're already home! She has a family, at last.

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wouldn't it figure?

Yeah, so I can't even remember what day it is anymore. I'm so off. The other day I updated the front page of the site and labeled it the 19th, when in actuality it was the 23rd. Last night I went to sleep around 11, not a clue that the blogathon started an hour later. I wake up this morning, sit down to my computer and notice the day: Saturday. Hmm, I think to myself, what do I have going on today? Oh yea, the Blogathon. Ugh, I already started off on the wrong foot. -sigh- So here's to a better connection than I'm getting right this minute. And I'll be back to post something real in a bit.

26 July 2007

Gratitude

the four friendsI am thankful for friends. And for my children's friends.
We dropped by the kids' school to see if any of her friends happened to be there. Lucky for Audrey, several were hanging out at the child care center and Audrey was greeted with awkward silence that soon morphed into excited chatter.


I am thankful for the generosity of others. Hanna Anderson was kind enough to donate several boxes full of quality children's clothing for the orphans. Now, they will have clothes that can be worn for longer than a few months! Fantastic.

The Blogathon is coming up, so let me know if you have any specific questions you want answered. And don't forget to sponsor our blog; all the money goes direction to Children of Vietnam.

25 July 2007

ugh

Well, the one week mark came and went, but the melancholy feelings have stayed, perhaps even worsened as time goes on. I was expecting to feel some loss, some culture shock from the big cars and big people. I didn't think I'd find myself horrified by the constant narrative on the television about why Americans are fat with frequent advertisements for how Americans can pay to stop being so fat. It's this strange teeter-totter thing, back and forth. And nothing really changes.

The kids and I make jokes to deal with the differences, for us. We went shopping for some paint (going to paint the treehouse) and paper (must write long-hand!) yesterday and I was griping about not being able to find a product and some random fellow shopper started chatting with me about the frustrations of the store layout. As the kids and I walked away, Stuart turned and joked, "Wow, her English is really good!" I needed the laugh. Outside the store, some man was talking with his kid in something akin to Farsi and I slowed my walking speed just to hear something I couldn't understand. I've taken to kind of turning off my ears at times. The overwhelming amount of talking, in English, annoys me. I don't want or need to understand everything that is said. Besides it takes the challenge out of communication, something I began to actually enjoy most of the time. (Granted there were a few times when I just wanted to sit down and cry: "Doesn't anyone speak English?!")

I've sent in my resume and applications for eight jobs so far. None pay anything close to what I was earning in Viet Nam. My students write and can't understand why I am not teaching. "You are best teacher. Why no one can teach?" one student emailed me. The strictness of the law regarding teaching in the US doesn't allow me to do what I love, so I have to find something else. But those of us with English majors are prevalent, so writing and editing jobs are few and snapped up as quickly as possible. Honestly, I've only found two jobs that entail writing. The others are tangent jobs that I could do, but not what I'm looking for (i.e. hauling boxes of food at the local Farmer's Market). I haven't heard back from anything.

I put notice up online via Craigslist for custom sewing, since that's easy enough for me to do, but no bites yet. And I'm re-working my Vietnamwithkids.com website. I got the front page up and then hated it. I fixed it more to my liking, but the interior pages are causing me hassle in the design area. Just can't get it to the point that I like it. Another frustration.

Sometimes it's hard to not wander my parents' small forest, silently crying over my life that seems completely without purpose. I felt like I was improving the world a tiny bit at a time when I was in Viet Nam. And now, the thoughts "waste of breath" and "pointless" invade my day and I can't figure out what the heck I can do. I could volunteer my time, but that's dismissed as ridiculous when I'm looking for work. And gas prices are so crazy-high that I can't afford to go anywhere. No money coming in, so no money can go out.

I really don't know how people do this. Landing in Viet Nam was difficult, but it was never so depressing.

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22 July 2007

Separation Anxiety

It doesn't to be as much of an issue as I thought it might be, for the kids as well as me. For the first time in seven months, we all spent the night away from each other. Stuart went with his friend Zach up to Washington to celebrate his birthday. Audrey headed up to Vancouver to spend the time with her cousins (and my sister). I spent the weekend hanging out with my good friends Jaymee and Goolie. I made it a point to not call the kids to see how they were; I know that they can call me if there is a problem. No one called and we all had fun in our own ways, though we missed each other as well. We've become a different kind of family now. The kids are more independent, yet we have a deeper connection with each other than before.

Stuart was excited to show me his photos of the San Juan Islands and was amused that he has been through Seattle three times in one week. We hadn't been for the two previous years, but now he's a frequent visitor. Too funny.

Audrey tried to share her love of crochet with her cousin, V., but she didn't attach to it in the way that Audrey has. So they found other things to do. She had a great time, she says, but was eager to be back with us.

I got to see a band play, ran into old friends, bummed around S.E. Portland (including the book store--ah, home!), then Saturday night had a bunch of friends over. I was pleasantly surprised to see what of my favoritest musician, Rick Bain, play in someone's backyard and later met up with friends I hadn't seen in nearly a year.

Then when it was time for the kids to come home, I was pleased to have them back. They are my comfort zone and with them I'm happy. I'm still fighting the sadness and find myself just sitting, staring into space and dreaming of Viet Nam. Then I yank myself back and remember how much I need to get done.

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I'm going to do the Blogathon this year. It is on Saturday and it entails me posting every 30 minutes for 24 hours. Some of these posts are bound to get pretty silly, I'm sure, but it will be a good reason to work up some bits of writing and pictures to post. Your part is to sponsor my blog. I'll be blogging to raise funds for Children of Vietnam (COV), a non-profit that goes to central Viet Nam twice a year to bring necessities to the kids. I'll be trying to raise some funds for them, so donate if you can.

I've been working on some local awareness raising and donation gathering and happy to say I'll be getting some clothing donated from a local company. Woohoo! I was hoping to be able to travel with COV when they go in September, but I don't see it being a realistic possibility, so I'll have to mail off the donations that I receive instead. Whatever. The kids will get it and that's what is important to me. I'll be looking for some quality blankets for them next, and then trying to find a shipper for them that won't charge me the price of an airline ticket to get them there.

always more to come...

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19 July 2007

more pictures

I uploaded some more photos to Flickr today from Window of the World.

I made fried rice for dinner tonight and couldn't help but rinse the rice a few times and then look for the bottled water to cook it in. Then I remembered that we have tap water that you can drink. Strange.

Going through the grocery store today (a Fred Meyer, for the curious) was a bit overwhelming for my little brain, but I noticed things that I'd never taken note of before. Like the insane number of magazines proclaiming the magic key for weight loss. And how the candy bars are lined up, and on sale right next to them. How about not buying the candy OR the magazine and head over to the fresh fruits. I miss the fruit market so much. There are a wide variety here, but the tropical fruits are lame examples of the quality available abroad.


And how did I GAIN five pounds eating fruit and rice and drinking loads of water? I don't get it. I thought I'd go to Viet Nam and lose a few off this chubby American body, but somehow managed to gain a few instead. -sigh-

18 July 2007

jet lag

It sucks. That's all I really need to say about that, but I'll just keep writing anyway. I can't seem to sleep at night; all day I'm exhausted. Stuart had to wake me up at 10:30 a.m. today. Me! The girl who can't seem to sleep past sun-up slept past breakfast. Crazy. And now here it is, one o'clock in the morning and I don't feel the slightest bit sleepy.

Of course this may have to do with my mind working a million miles an hour trying to figure out what to do first on my enormous, mental to-do list. So many things to do, but I can't get the motivation. I keep thinking about all my friends/students in Thanh Hoa and how I let them down unexpectantly and how their lives are so much more difficult now, yet my children are so happy to be here. Two important parts of my life clashing so hard.

There's much to do, but I just can't get to it. I think I will resort to an actual "To Do" list, written out in ink, tomorrow and force myself to accomplish something.

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16 July 2007

arrived

entering the U.S. via CanadaAfter the unexpected run for the plane after mis-reading the clock, just over the brink of tears, we found that our plane was running nearly an hour late and we wouldn't miss the flight after all. Thank goodness because this consistent run of bad luck is a bit frustrating. We made it and landed at about 11:30a.m. PST.

And let me just say that the guards to get into democratic America are way scarier than communist China. I will not be heading in and out of Canada again unless absolutely necessary. Worst border crossing yet.

Audrey with her cousin, SamanthaWe stopped by my sister's house and I had my first startling response of not being stared at. It was odd to walk by people and not have them give a second glance to us. We're the norm again and I don't particularly like it, even though I didn't like being stared at either.

It's an awkward feeling being here. We've gone through so much in the past nearly seven months and yet, we came back to find everything precisely as we left it. My mom even kept my cell phone for me and had it fully charged. It was a sweet gesture, but at the same time I feel as if the person who used that phone such a short time ago is gone; I'm no longer the woman I was in December.

I don't know what I'm going to do exactly. I have to start paying on those darn school loans and I've got to do something with my life. In Viet Nam I felt I had a purpose, but here, it feels pointless. I've got to find something to give purpose or I'll slip into a whirlpool of depression and who needs that?

I emptied our suitcases today and am missing only a couple of things (two of our three stamps--I shoved them into something to keep them safe during our travels, but don't remember what) and found more clothes that I realized we had. It's good to have a space in my parents' house that is ours and for the first time in months, literally, I slept in a bed all by myself. Ahhh. Audrey is ecstatic to be back and has fallen in love with my folks' pet pomeranian, Stuart found the rest of his stored Legos and I am scouring Craigslist for some sort of income.

Life has changed. I have changed. We'll see what happens next. First, though, I've got to buy a new charger for my PowerBook because I was scatterbrained enough to leave the original one in the hotel in Ha Noi and without my computer is useless.

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14 July 2007

countdown

This is it. Our last 24 hours in Asia (for now). I can't help but be melancholy, though I am struggling to hide the sadness from the kids. Audrey, especially, feels sad and angry knowing that I don't want to leave, but she does. She is eagerly awaiting our arrival and I'm happy for her. Stuart is glad to be going back as well, though he, too, looks forward to our return to Viet Nam. It's a odd mixture of emotions as I prepare to go back. It's hard to not feel a bit of a failure. There's so much more I could have, should have done. Maybe it would have been better to take the tiny house and stay in Ha Noi back in March. Maybe Audrey would have liked it better. Maybe either way would have been difficult. Maybe this was what it was supposed to be. Either way, it's coming to an end. Or a pause? I don't know. I know what I want, but I'm not sure what the next step will be.

I will be doing more writing; I'm currently working on a piece I'll post next week about toilets. Funny how we've become so opinionated on the various aspects. Silly, but important here.

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Audrey has done some writing (and loads of drawings) and is getting one of her pieces published at the end of the year. Yea for her! I'll post more info when we get the specifics, but it's about our volunteer work there and should include some photos. Looking forward to getting some more stuff published, including a couple of comic-style booklets that she's made as well as an awful lot of writing that needs to be edited.


Thanks to everyone for your support. You'll hear from us again in a couple of days. From the other side of the Pacific.

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11 July 2007

world travels

Today we visited the One-Pillar Pagoda in Ha Noi (or as it is labeled here: Single Column Temple):


Then we checked out Angkor Wat in Cambodia:


And rode the elevator to the top of the Eiffel Tower:


We also visited the Acropolis in Greece:


And the ancient pyramids of Egypt:


We also saw Mount Rushmore, Easter Island, the White House, Manhattan Island before 9/11, the Sydney Opera House, Niagara Falls, the line drawings in Peru, The Versailles Palace, the Kremlin, Buckingham Palace and Stonehenge, the Grand Palace in Thailand and Notre Dame, among others. This is Window of the World and you should come if you ever get the chance.

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10 July 2007

comparison is inevitable

Here we are in China, with its wide streets, clean and accessible sidewalks, easy access to quick eating ....but we miss motorbikes and a language we at least partly understand (never realized how much Vietnamese I understood before coming here and understanding nothing) and chicken (or beef) and rice.

We've had an amazing time here and it is definitely vacation-like (which is precisely what I wanted for the kids). Tommy and his parents have honestly treated us like royalty, providing us a place to stay and getting us tickets on the train to Shanghai, feeding us an astonishing array of Chinese and Western food (Pizza Hut? Whoda thunk). I can never express my gratitude for all they've done and are doing for us. It's been amazing and I hope to forward that generosity on; I am again in the debt of others' kindness.

We've noticed, though, that every step of the way we inevitably compare it to the Vietnamese way. Oh, the girls are wearing short sleeves! Where are all the motorbikes? (Banned by law, I found out.) In Viet Nam, they're very worried about getting dark. Yes, people in Viet Nam eat every bit of the animal, too, but it is the first time I've seen deep-fat fried chicken head.

We can't seem to help it. Everything gets compared, both positive and negative (depending on the situation and the person). I can't help but think it will continue for a long while after returning to the States, as well. Sorry, folks, you'll have to deal with it.

There are bits of both countries that we like, but Ha Noi has my heart. Toi yeu Viet Nam!

[Our last night in Ha Noi at the ice cream buffet at Fanny Ice Cream.]

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09 July 2007

Happy Valley


This is it.. the big Happy Valley amusement park, a la Disneyland (but bigger than the one in Hong Kong). It was very reminiscent of the California Disneyland and would be impossible to do all in one day. We went yesterday and wore ourselves out enough to decide to simply stay home today. So, here's some photos for you:
Audrey rocked at this game; we played it first and last during our time at the park. She ended up winning nearly a dozen little prizes, but kept getting 4 out of 5 necessary to win the big prize. So the girl that ran the booth gave Audrey a few extra chances and, sure enough, she did it. Won a big ol' stuffed kitty that I have no idea how we'll drag back to the States, but we'll give it a valiant effort.

One area of the park consists of a large tree-covered hillside with myriad climbing structures. In fact, it was called the Climbing Forest (clever, eh?). Stuart and Audrey climbed over, through and across as many as they could find. Tommy, still not feeling very well, remarked on their seeming love of climbing and I realized, yeah, they hadn't been able to do it in a while. This was a rope tube that twisted up and around before letting you out on the other end. Audrey remarked that it was fun, but "kinda claustrophobic."

The day was quite hot and all the standing around can get to you, but luckily Happy Valley is full of water rides. We hit our first one, Gold Mine River Rapids, within the first hour (and managed to stay in varying degrees of wetness for the remainder of the day). You pay an extra 5Yuan for each poncho/raincoat, and it's definitely worth it. Even with the so-called protection, we were soaked from thighs down and completely down the front of our shirts.

We might have looked silly, but it was a lot of fun. It starts slowly, but soon you are rocking through fake rapids and getting sprayed on, bumped around and soaked. Loads of fun, of course. Then as you come around to the end of the ride, Surprise!, there are people waiting to shoot you with fairly high-powered water hoses. We left drenched, but smiling.

Later we went on Shoot the Chute, which makes no phonetic sense, but it was fun anyway. Stuart and Tommy rode ahead of Audrey and I as we floated through a flooded town from early America, heading around and then up, up, up until you reach the top, then come around a corner and then down as a freefall into the water. Oh my!

This one is impossible to escape from being completely drenched. The water sprays so high that it comes up and over the boat. In fact, when we first got into the boat, it was already so full of water that it covered our shoes. (My supposedly-leather flip-flops/thongs/jandals are dying so very quickly.)

And, of course, we got the "Could you pose with my kid?" requests. They are very familiar for Audrey and she's a pretty good sport about it, especially if someone asks (rather than just grabbing her like she's an inanimate object). She got a few requests, including this one where the mom wanted them to hold hands. Audrey's comment: "His hand's so skinny."
Then later, Stuart was asked, too. Less common for him, I'm assuming because he is a boy and older. This time they had a kid the same size (age?) and they posed. It's quite funny at times, but I figure if the kids every became famous, they'd have some clue how to deal with it. Though neither aspires to it; the attention can be disturbing at times.

Then there was this ride. I really really wanted to go, but the line was upwards of an hour's wait and I was the only one that could/wanted to go. So... I didn't go. But darn it, someday I'm getting someone to go with me. (Which reminds me that Audrey told me it's time for me to find a boyfriend because she likes that, but she decided she really doesn't want a stepdad. oh, okay, honey, I'll just head out and pick one up. Wait. According to the fortune teller, I'm due for a Chinese husband. Hmmmm...) Looked scary-scary, but a lot of fun, too. It was huge and flipped all over. Yeah, someday, before I'm too old, I want to do that one.

So, all in all, it was a great day. So tiring and my feet are too old to deal with all that walking in lame beach shoes, but it's all I have now. It worked, though, and we all had a good time just having fun and being together someplace new. Tommy was a fantastic tour guide and is a great friend. He'll be tour-guiding again on Thursday when we hit Window of the World.

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08 July 2007

some photos

I will always be amazed at what people can carry on motorbikes in Viet Nam. This was on the way to the airport and there were several bikes zipping along with these enormous vases tied to the sides of their bikes. The balance is amazing, if you ask me.



I was none to happy to be leaving Viet Nam. I've really grown to love Ha Noi, to love Viet Nam. To wave goodbye one last time was heartbreaking for me. I'd finally found where I was happiest, but it wasn't going to work this time. Later. I'll be back.
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We made it to Hong Kong and then struggled to get into China. Customs is really no fun at all. There are forms to fill out everywhere (remember to keep them!). We presented our passports and got a little hassle at each stop. My hair has gotten a lot shorter and no longer curly, so I don't really look like my photo so much. Audrey's is shorter, too. Each time they had to look at them closely and have the kids move to the front so they could look at them straight on and compare photo to person. I have to admit, it's a little scary because that person has complete control over whether or not we get into the country.



Last night (Sunday), we went down to the waterfront park. It hugs the Shenzhen Bay, where the river empties into the bay which heads out to sea. It was just beautiful there, despite the cars. We could look across and see all the cookie-cutter buildings of Hong Kong. The park ran several kilometers and has a mangrove area that is protected for the cranes and other birds that call that area home.



Back together again. Tommy, Audrey and Stuart at the waterfront park. It was cooler and quite nice to be out and about... in China. :)

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07 July 2007

We're in China. How crazy is that?

Well, here I am, sitting in the bedroom of my former exchange student, in Shenzhen, China. It's one of those things, much like my original intention to go to Viet Nam, that I said I would do, but wasn't completely sure I could pull it off. Until less than 48 hours ago, I wasn't sure if we'd make it here. Somehow things came together, none too smoothly, and we ended up on flights to Hong Kong.

Leaving the country was heartbreaking for me, but I had to maintain some composure, so the tearfall was silent. We recorded the three of us saying "Goodbye Viet Nam!" as we lifted off, but my voice cracks and loses efficacy as soon as I say "Goodbye."

I didn't have much time to mourn though since our flight was just under 2 hours and then I had to figure out what we were going to do. Let me tell ya, it wasn't easy. We ended up seeing most of the airport and using at least 10 different phones trying to get ahold of Tommy or his father, but we missed each other every time. 3 hours after arrival, we finally made voice contact. It took me another 30 minutes or so to find out how to get to Huang Gang, as he'd instructed me to get to. Just as I found out, the bus was leaving, so we did the "Run!" thing and threw ourselves onto the bus. We'd forgotten one suitcase down the way and Stuart was going back to retrieve it, so I'm motioning in huge arm signals to hurry. We made it on and were on our way out of Hong Kong. A short visit, to be sure.

Customs was an interesting process and one that deserves an entire chapter of its own, but despite the numerous times we had to show our passports, fill in papers, look straightforward, etc. we made it through. Finally. Another hour of huge hassles, blistered fingers and sweat, and we met up with Tommy. The joy at seeing a familiar face cannot be adequately expressed.

I keep trying to say "Cam on" for "Thank you" and was yelling "Khong!" at the incessantly pleading taxi drivers before it hit me that that word was likely more foreign than "No."

By dinner, we were all missing our daily rice portions, but luckily we went to dinner and had rice and a bunch of other things I can't name. Except for the deep fried chicken head. Mmm.

Today's a slow day, just spend some time with Tommy's family and see Shenzhen. Tomorrow we hit the amusement park. So, maybe this won't be the terrible ending of our trip to Viet Nam that it seemed like it could be. Things have been really terrible for the past week, but there's definitely a turn of events and things are looking up.

We'll enjoy almost a week here before getting onto a train and heading to Shanghai. We'd looked into flying out of Hong Kong, but it would have cost an additional $2200 and I definitely don't have that kind of cash floating around. More like about a tenth of that. Eek.

06 July 2007

Good morning, Viet Nam!

The sun is just peeking out as I rise on this, my last day in Viet Nam. It's been a long goodbye this week, with tearful pondering on life's trajectory. I sat out on the steps yesterday morning, crying into my sweater sleeves (yes, I've acclimated a bit) and wondering just how this all happens. Ten years ago, I was still happily married with one son and another baby on the way, with no plans beyond what I was making for dinner. Five years ago, I was struggling through full-time kids, full-time college and part-time work, single and hoping for the best. And now, here I sit. Still single with kids, but living a life I could have never dreamed of. Despite all the difficulties with trying to get into China, I would never ever trade this for anything.

Over the last six months I have learned so much about what type of work I truly love (teaching), how much my childen mean to me (the whole world), what makes me happy (showing world to my kids) and how little I knew (but thought I was open-minded). I've learned to squat while waiting, which you do a lot here. I've learned to cook using only fresh foods. I've learned that I love pineapple even more here and that custard apples are pretty darn good, but unripe mangos with MSG will never suit me and I still don't like durian ice cream. I've learned to trust myself and not beat myself up when things don't go right. It's all a learning experience and I can only do what I think is best. But sometimes I'm wrong.

I wasn't wrong about this though. This, this adventure of getting to Viet Nam, working in the orphanages, struggling to find work and housing, trying to homeschool two kids on top of teaching two classes, handwashing everything and slowly learning to understand the language and the culture of Viet Nam.... this was the best thing I could have ever done, despite the financial costs, and I know in my core that it's been a blessing for my children. I'm often not very proud of myself, but I can honestly say I am proud to have managed a way to give my kids a truly life-altering experience that few get. And even more, I'm proud of them for jumping off that cliff with me, flailing ourselves into the unknown and somehow bobbing our way through the rough waters. They have been my strength and my inspiration. I am so grateful for their 24/7 company, for reminding me where I put things and for dealing with so many things that other adults would be unwilling to face. Stuart and Audrey did it with bravado.

Of course, we've each had our moments when a nervous breakdown seems right around the corner, but together we managed. I've tried to be the good example, but in the end, the kids have been a great example for me, as well. We've learned patience and tolerance and awe at our insignificance on this very large globe.

Now, we're off to Hong Kong, where we'll wing it once more. We've got to manage our way into China, to Shenzhen, where after nearly a year we will get to see Tommy again and finally meet his parents. There are some grand things to do there, but lest we not have enough money to do anything I'm not going to even mention it.

Goodbye for now, Viet Nam. Toi yeu Viet Nam. I'll see you again soon. I promise.

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An enormous thank you goes out to all the wonderful people who have touched my life here in ways they may never realize:
Huyen, Keith, Becky, Ha, Thuat, Thanh, Chi, Man, Tung, Trang, Mr Hoan, Phuong, Thuy, Huong, Hung, Huyen, Cuong, Jimmy, Kat, Nghiep, Dung, Giang, Loan, Lan, Kieu, Chieu, Rita, Yen, Quang, Rhissa, Mrs Hanh, Mr Hanh, Viet, Tamra, Jo, Claire, Nga, Thuong, Thuy, Song, Thu, Linh, and so many more. Thank you to all of my students in Tam Ky, Ha Noi and Thanh Hoa, but most especially those in Thanh Hoa who showed me what Vietnamese people are really like and the generous spirit that runs through friendship. I will miss you all.

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05 July 2007

don't forget to breathe

Let's just say that the last few days have been extremely stressful. I don't have enough money or time to make things work the way they were supposed to. After numerous phone calls, Skype chats, and tearful journal entries, we finally got things figured out.

It wasn't looking good there for a while. We knew that the train trip to Shenzhen was a lousy idea: the delays to buy tickets, the isolation, all that luggage. It would take too long and be very difficult with a heck of a lot of unknowns. So, we thought we could maybe fly there. The flights to Hong Kong were proving to be expensive and difficult (fly to Bangkok then Hong Kong, or to HCMC then to Hong Kong). So the lovely desk clerk, Huyen at Ha Noi Holidays Hotel (36 Hang Manh, Ha Noi--go there) did a bunch of calling around for me to see if we can fly into Guangzhou. There were a couple of flights on Vietnam Airlines for $230+tax, but there were only single and double seats left. No flights with three empty seats until the 13th. Then inspiration hit me (thanks to the ad I'd seen at Pepperoni's) and I had Huyen call Hong Kong Airlines.

Meanwhile, my mom, my sister and I are chatting via Skype to try to figure out what we're going to do. Stay in Ha Noi? Fly to Bangkok, then Guangzhou? Fly straight to Shanghai? Fly home from here? Then Audrey ran back up to our room with a note from Huyen; they have flights tomorrow morning for Hong Kong, three seats available at $239 each, including tax. After a short time debating, it was decided--I'll buy the tickets.

So there you have it. We fly out tomorrow morning at 8:55a.m. heading to Hong Kong. Our visa arrived this morning, so all is finally falling into place.

Our dear friend Becky flew out this morning, heading to Bangkok then Laos. I'll say goodbye to my bestest friend tonight. And then I'll shed those tears that have been only intermittently spilling over the banks. It's been a build-up and I need a good purging sob again. I'm really gonna miss this place.



In other good news, I finally snuck in an actual gift from me to my kids. Yea! I bought them hand-carved stamps from the fellow next door to our hotel. I chatted with him yesterday and he knew who I was, that I had a son and daughter and that he'd seen us many times over the months. I couldn't help but laugh a bit. I hadn't realized that others took notice of us and there was something sweet about him recognizing me. Anyway, this is his craftwork. Amazingly skilled.

And our family stamp; a copy of my trio of fleur de lis tattoos.

jumping hurtles into China

Okay, so it goes like this....
•I can't buy tickets to go to China until I get my visas. My visas are being processed and due to be finished tomorrow.
•I can't pay for tickets or visas until I get paid.
•I finally got paid today, one day after I was originally hoping to leave and 4 days after it was due to be deposited.

So, here it is Thursday evening, I'm supposed to leave tomorrow, but we're trying desperately to fly to Guangzhou rather than taking two trains and five days to get there. But I can't book tickets until I have my visas, which I should get tomorrow. It just postpones the inevitable and makes each day a frustrating game of wait-and-see. We're running out of time and money here.

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Yesterday, I finally got to meet Rita and Jeff, who are here to adopt two of our favorites from Tam Ky: Kieu and Chieu. She is as wonderful in person as I thought she'd be. She was even kind enough to bring along another Nintendo DS game for the kids; they've grown a bit weary of the others they've been playing over and over. She'll be meeting the kids for the first time soon, how I wish we could be there, and I'm so glad to have met her. We'll keep in touch and maybe, if I can swing it, we'll make it to Disneyworld for a reunion.

04 July 2007

so much to say, so little time

As my time in Viet Nam is (supposed to be) coming quickly to an end, I realize all the things I never said, the stories I never told. And y'know, I think Rhissa may have a valid point. Maybe it is publishable in some fashion, but there is so much to say still. I'll be doing a lot more writing once I get Stateside, both on the blog and working to find an agent and/or publisher for this crazy idea. May not work at all, but it just might. And it will make me feel like something was accomplished if I can get it all down on paper. Besides, could there be any better memento for Stuart and Audrey than the stories of the trip, compiled into a semi-cohesive whole? I think not. So, there... that's my next goal. A book, whether I find a publisher or not, that two kids will keep as treasures from six months of adventures, difficulties, and amazing moments that we'd never realized were possible and (just maybe) available to the public, as well.

03 July 2007

Co Teresa, teaching again

Looks like I'll be teaching a one-Saturday class on volunteering abroad, so if you're interested and in the Portland area, here's the info.

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panic


Why do things go awry for me so often? Did I do something to piss off the gods? It feels like they are after me sometimes.

After a very traumatic Monday, and a better Tuesday, we've figured out where thing stand. Sort of. I have much less money than I was hoping to have at this point due to having to use cash only. My bank card was lost in Ninh Binh and the tickets I was planning to exchange for flights to Hong Kong, or maybe even Shanghai, are almost useless. The flight costs to Hong Kong are way too high (I'd have to fly from Ha Noi to HCMC, then from HCMC to Hong Kong, at about $500 each) and my tickets are only for $220 each. But still that's more than $650 in total, and right now, that's nothing to sneeze at.

The costs of the visa for China is double that of Vietnam, so we can't afford to go to Hong Kong, at all. We'd have to get another visa to come back out of the city. So, instead of heading to Hong Kong by plane, we will be heading to Nanning by train. Where is Nanning? you ask. I don't know exactly. I just know it's the furthest I can get from here. Or so it seems.

Looks like we'll be leaving for there on Friday, arriving sometime on Saturday. We will attempt to purchase onward tickets, but it looks like we'll have to wait at least 2 or 3 days to get another sleeper car as the trains are packed. No one can seem to tell me how to purchase onward tickets before arrival. So, we'll waste a lot of precious time in some city in the middle of China, before heading on to Shenzhen to visit Tommy for only a day or two, then back on the train to Shanghai. We'll be spending way more time travelling than enjoying anything, so I'm a bit perturbed at the turn of events, to say the least.

What was supposed to be the culminating "holiday" for the kids has turned into a luggage-dragging marathon across China. Darn those expensive flights and no credit card.

So, we're here in Ha Noi until Friday evening, hopefully. We are supposed to get our visas that afternoon and take the night train into China. Keep your fingers crossed for us. We'll have only eight days to make it across the country, all by train. Honestly, I'm not so confident we'll make it. But either way, it'll be a great story.

02 July 2007

Sa Pa

We arrived in the middle of a rainstorm and were left with a very limited view of the surrounding mountains. We'd reserved rooms at the Sa Pa Summit Hotel, the "only hotel restaurant with a view of Fan Si Pan mountain," but we had no view at all. It was socked in and we were soaked for most of the first day. The second morning started off looking exactly the same way.

When the sky finally cleared up, though, and we went on our trek to Cat Cat village, we got an amazing view of the hillsides. The mountains were spotted with the famous tiered rice paddies. All the rain has made the area incredibly green and it was wonderful to get out of the city and into the fresh air.

Stuart snapped this photo of one of the women that accompanied us on our trek. Her name was Danh and she's from the Black Hmong tribe. Her English, along with almost everyone we met, was excellent. She was fun to chat with and after a day and a half of asking me to buy things from her, I finally did. I bought two mouth harps (nyoo zee was how she pronounced the name, but I don't know the spelling), some silver earrings, a silver bracelet and some of the little fabric wrist ties that everyone who goes to Sa Pa comes home with.

We visited inside the home of a family that lives in the village, watching the children play outside for a bit before entering. They sat there laughing and giggling while they shared a bowl of rice. All four girls, ages 3 or 4, had pierced ears, but only two had actual earrings. The other two had strings tied through their ears. There were 15 people who lived in the house, including grandparents and babies. There was an enormous wok in the kitchen used to make rice wine and in the back yard was the squat toilet/outhouse, pig sty and chicken pen. They also had some strange animal that looked like a duck and chicken mix. So, we called it a chuck.

We did a little shopping while there and though we didn't buy any of the Buddhas, we sure enjoy them. Audrey snapped this shot at the shop where I bought my purse. I had looked at it the first day, but didn't want to pay the $2 asking price (man, I've gotten cheap), so we went back the next day and no one was there. It was a pay-off moment when the kids just suggested I leave the money at the table since no one was around. Quite proud that neither of them even seemed to think that simply taking it (which would have been incredibly easy as no one was there and no one outside questioned us). Yeah, I've done something right; my kids have morals. It's a cute purse style and I'll be copying it as soon as I can get my hands on a sewing machine again.