teeter-totter

As the time to depart (aka leave everything we've ever known) approaches, each of us is dealing with the reality of the situation. S. wrote in a school assignment that "I'm awaiting my trip abroad to Veitnam, Thailand, China and more! Now, leaving in only three months the realism and nervousness is finally settling in." I agree. The nervous excitement is a common reaction to any thought of our departure; I think we all alternate between eager and scared. Okay, maybe I'm the only one that is scared, nervous is probably a better description for them. They do understand the gravity of what we are doing though--getting rid of most everything, working and saving like crazy and taking an enormous leap of faith in the hope for a moment of adventurous generosity. I just hope that my gut instinct is right and that I am doing the right thing. With two children's futures in my hands, it is an enormous weight on my psyche. This is actually one of the few times in the last seven years that I wish I had a partner to discuss the details with and agree on the right path, but I am alone and the decision is mine. Regardless of the fact that the kids had to give the initial OK, the big responsibility is mine and the gravity of that isn't lost on me, despite my cocky "I-know-what's-best" attitude. Even when I truly believe it's for the best, it still doesn't make it easy. For me, or for my kids.