Return to Tam Ky Orphanage

fond memories

Surfing YouTube today and decided to search for Dan Truong songs. He was often on the stereo when we visited the internet cafe in Tam Ky; cheesy as his songs are, they got entrenched. So I went to find some. I came across this one and the video reminded me so much of my time in Vietnam I had to share it. The small lanes, the cement houses with shutters, the bicycles, even the air mail envelope. It makes me a bit homesick, but I can't help but smile from ear to ear.

Clothes are getting ready to go....

Thanks to some sales on eBay (with some more coming soon), I was able to raise about $75 toward shipping some packages to the kids in Tam Ky. I got some of the smaller boxes together and it'll take way too many of them to send them that way (though it is quick and a good deal: $37 for the flat-rate box). I just can't get enough of the shirts in there. I did pack one full of 16 pairs of pants, so that'll head out to them early next week and should be there within two weeks. Fingers crossed. I'm also going to send some handmade Xmas candies to the volunteers there.

Then I was thinking maybe you guys could mail off some Merry Christmas or Happy New Year cards to them, as well. You could include cards for the volunteers, Mrs Hanh, Yen and/or the children at the orphanages. Just do NOT send cash. It'll get pilfered long before it gets there.

So send some cards to:
GVN Volunteers
158 Hung Vuong
Tam Ky, Quang Nam
VIETNAM

and give them all a reason to smile. I'll get a box or two of pants, socks and candies off soon and the holidays will be a bit nicer for those who are away from their families.

Finally ready...

I've wanted to make a calendar with our pictures for a while. I actually have used a couple of different companies to make them, but when I got the final product in hand, I wasn't so pleased. I finally found one, though, that offered exactly what I want. A desktop calendar with our photos, captions and dates marked for Vietnamese holidays. Woohoo! I'm stoked. Here's a composite of all the pages:



And of course you can get one yourself! I'm charging $8.99 and the couple extra bucks will go toward the shipping of all those clothes to the Tam Ky Baby Orphanage. I'm also selling some of the not-as-useable-for-Vietnam stuff on ebay to pay for postage, as well. All these shirts and pants have been sitting here for far too long.

[I've tried a dozen times to get this button to work, but nothing seems to help. Ugh. So, if you want the calendar, hit me up on paypal. Donate [at] teresaandkids.com is the address. So much for simple and easy.]
THANK YOU!

i love mango

I hadn't had lunch yet, so on the way to get the kids from school I was daydreaming about what I'd eat when I got the chance to stop at a store. Fruit sounded good. It always does these days, but the choices are limited to apples or bananas. Sure there are some others out there, but my favorites are so expensive ($3 for one Asian pear?! Who can afford to buy them?).

Pondering my lack of choices, the thought of mangoes burst in and I couldn't get them out of my mind. Oh how I ached for the sweet nectar of mango, so juicy it slides down my chin and I have to stand back to avoid being dripped on. I miss having a nice thick oval piece, sliced off the side of a deep yellow mango, cut into squares, right up to (but not through) the skin. Sucking the delicious meat of the peel, saving the pit for later. It's the best part, if you don't mind the stringy bits.

I never knew that memories of mango could bring me to tears.

The cold, damp weather lately makes me crave the warm days of the spring, when I didn't realize just how lucky I was, licking mango juice from my fingertips.

She's a published author!

Yea for Audrey. Here's the article. You might not be able to read it, but that's okay... you should just buy a copy of the magazine. Seriously, support New Moon and these kinds of publications. They are rare these days.

The pictures are of Audrey with Thuong (I think) and Truc at the Home of Affection, Audrey with Kieu/Emma at the Baby Orphanage and a shot of her. The other is some stock photo of Vietnam (we've got better! -haha).

And here's a preview of her book we're working on. It's the story of a girl named Quy (kwee) who lives in Vietnam. This is the first of a series that she plans to write. My former students Ha and Man helped out with the translation. Her grandma is helping her color the illustrations with watercolors. Whee! We'll be working on pictures over the next couple of weeks and will have books ready for Christmas. If you are interested in getting your own copy, please let me know via our Vietnam With Kids site.

helping the children

For those of you in Ha Noi:
Inc. Vietnam will be arranging the fund-raising run / walk around Westlake, in Hanoi on Sunday, 14 October 2007. We shall be greatly thankful for your (financial) contribution to this cause. We would be delighted if you and / or your friends / colleagues could also join us for the run/walk. *The event will start at 6:30 am at the Hanoi Lake View building, 28 Thanh Nien Road, Hanoi.* Should you need more information or would like to register for the event, please contact our local coordinator, Mr. Au Minh Tuan at tuanamATadb.org>

For everyone:
I have three more boxes of clothes that were donated for the kids in Tam Ky, but they cost more than $100 to ship. I'd like to send one more box of warm clothes, since it's starting to get cool there, and hoping I can get some help from y'all. If you can spare $10 or so to help with the mailing costs, I'd be ever so grateful. The paypal address is donateATteresaandkids.com. If you would like to include a card or anything small (and very light), let me know and I'll give you a mailing address.

Tam Ky market

So let's see if this works...

We were in Tam Ky around Tet and the market (Chợ Tam Kỳ), always a bit overwhelming, increased in volume and mass. Here's a video put together of stills and movies, narrated by Audrey.

back to work after our visit to Tam Ky

After a grueling 17-hour train ride from Tam Ky, we are back in Thanh Hoa. It was an exhausting weekend both emotionally and physically (though not from exertion, but from the heat and boredom).

We arrived in Tam Ky on Friday afternoon in the heat of the day and, as is often the case for us, there was no taxi to be seen. I called Yen, but she didn't answer, so we set off on foot. The three of us dragging two suitcases, three backpacks, a bag of rambutans and two cases of building blocks. In 38C (100F) weather. Down the main streets of town.

Luckily for the kids, Yen had seen my call and headed toward the train station. Being quite the caravan, we were hard to miss. She pulled over and loaded the kids, their backpacks, and the suitcase onto the motorbike. Stuart held onto the building blocks and the three of them took off, while I hoofed it the remaining half-mile to the volunteer house with backpack and suitcase in tow.

It was perfect timing for the Baby Orphanage, so after gulping down a few glasses of water and introductions between new and old volunteers, we all piled into the new-to-GVN mini-van and headed toward the children's orphanage to get Han, a young orphan who lives at the hospital Monday through Friday in order to get physical therapy. As soon as we arrived, my kids jumped right out and headed to her room. Stuart got to her first and was quite happy to carry her back to the van, where I held her for our ride to the orphanage.

Upon our arrival, I was hoping to be greeted by a sea of smiling faces, but the look was one of shock, instead. Not one of the kids would smile at me. It was bitterly disappointing as I love these kids and would do nearly anything for them. I understand, though, that, one-it's been three months since we left and two-I ditched on them. My favorite, Lan, was obviously angry and refused to give me second glance.

Stuart, on the other hand, was mobbed once again on arriving. Not one of the boys had forgotten about him or was the slightest bit upset. They just wanted another one of piggyback rides. Unfortunately, the stifling heat kept us all from playing as hard as we'd have liked, but Stuart gave it a valiant effort and just ran a tad bit slower than usual.

Audrey ran straight for Kieu, but it was a look of indifference that greeted her causing her heart to sink a bit. She took it fairly gracefully and visited with some of the other children and especially the babies (whose rejection one can never really take personally). Later she gave it another shot and Kieu was nicer, though their tight bond has been, sadly, broken.

After we'd been there about 15 minutes, Mr. Nguyen (commonly referred to by his wife's name.. Mr. Hanh) brought in the suitcase. The kids obviously knew there was something in there for them and crowded around as I tried to unzip it. But before I could get it open and start passing things around, the kids had ripped it open and were climbing over each other, grabbing and pulling things out of the suitcase. I tried to pull them off the little ones being smashed at the bottom of the kid pile, but it took two "mothers" stepping in and yelling at them in Vietnamese before I could get them off enough to zip the bag shut again. The clothes, toys and puzzles were taken to the baby room where the mothers handed the clothes out later. The toys and puzzles were to be put in the toy closet for later use.

We pulled out the jellies (little gelatin sticks) and tried to fairly disperse them, attempting to remember each face as I handed them out, double-checking the other hand to make sure they weren't coming back for seconds before everyone had firsts (which more than a few tried). With the help of one of the mothers, we got them all passed out, though I'm sure there were some who managed to get two when they shouldn't have. But at least everyone got one.

By this point, I was overwhelmed both emotionally and physically and decided to go outside to take a few minutes alone. I realized that my affection for the kids is not reciprocated as I'd thought. We were simply the bearer of gifts and that was the only reason they came to me; they wanted what I had. It was quite a miserable few moments for me as I collected myself and moved back in to play with the little ones, despite my frustration.

Lan had been watching me; I could see her to the side. After sitting on the steps she came up behind the pole in a sort of peek-a-boo game, but without any hint of a smile. It took a while of reaching for her, teasing her and laughing before she loosened up and laughed with me. It was exactly what I needed--to know that she didn't hate me after all, she was just angry at me.

And for a valid reason. We had become pals and then I had just left. And now, I come back to spoil her for a day. Then, like a hypocrite, I leave once more. I tried to find off the guilt, but it sat with me the whole time. She had trusted me once and I'd failed her and now I was here to do it again. It still tears at me emotionally and I hope that our efforts have done more good than harm. I know it hasn't been harmless and that makes me so very sad.

We did have a good time together--Lan, her sister and me. We played chase and the girls nearly kissed me to death at one point. She'd forgiven me for the time being and I basked in their giggles and wide smiles.

The kids, both mine and the orphans, did seem to have a good time in the end, after a few stumbling steps at the beginning. They just wanted to be chased and have their photographs taken and throw toys around. In ways everything was exactly as we'd left, but things were so different as well. Not the least of which was a huge influx of Hill Tribe kids. Not sure why there was a large group of them at once. Did they come from another orphanage? Did a group just decide to get rid of their kids? Was there a bad accident and they were actually orphaned? Who knows. No one seemed to have any idea, just knew that they were here and needed clothes and shoes and toys.

I hadn't realized there were so many kids that were older, so I'd bought more in the sizes 1-4 range. Adorable little outfits plus pants, shirts, and shorts. Kieu and Thu both got the Sam Son outfits. Though they won't know, or care, why they have Sam Son written on their shirts, it makes me feel a tad closer to them. That's "our" beach and now they've got souvenirs from there. The shorts/top outfits seemed perfect for the summer heat, as well. I hope that's true because they were really cute.

For the kids who didn't get anything (because I didn't buy enough in the bigger sizes), I left money with Yen to buy them some clothes from the local market. Hopefully that will happen within the week, so they don't feel too left out. I felt really terrible, but the last time there had only been a few older kids and now there's a dozen or more.

Before switching into their new clothes, the kids showered and though I can't show you photos, I must say they were so cute and so funny running around half- and fully naked dumping water over each other, scrubbing down and rinsing again. I couldn't help but laugh.

After an hour and a half, it was time to leave and we headed back to the Tam Ky house. The remainder of the trip continued to go awry, but we had some fun, as well. We visited Phu Ninh again with Lisa and Naomi, two other GVN volunteers, and the kids had a good time splashing around, though we were shocked to see how low the water had gotten in only a few months. It was at least 6 feet below where it was on our first visit (seriously! check out the photos). I managed to get a bit sunburned (ah, the lovely blistered shoulders!), but the kids only got a slight blush thanks to the sunscreen.

Otherwise we did a lot of laying around, managing to screw up my bank account, eating fruit and hanging out alone. It was an odd trip; everything was so much the same and yet everything was different. A strange trip indeed.

------

THANK YOU to everyone who donated money to bring the clothes, toys, books, puzzles, and jellies down to the kids in Tam Ky. If you would like to help out, please contact Children of Vietnam, a group that has twice-early trips to the area to bring donations. And they are always needed. Medicines, formula, clothes, blankets, sweaters, shoes, socks, etc. can always be used and everyone is grateful for the help.

deep breaths

So, we're still in Tam Ky, but thanks to the unflappable Mrs Hanh, we managed to get the money to take the train home this afternoon (Sunday). The plan (though we know how well those work for me) is to catch the 3:30pm train, arriving in Thanh Hoa tomorrow at 8:30am. Keep your fingers crossed it works. We are stuck at the volunteer house alone. Everyone else went to My Lai/Quang Ngai.

I did get some work done on my new web site, so I guess that's good. And Mrs. Hanh took me to buy peanut butter and jelly since I couldn't find it in Thanh Hoa. Some progress, but booooooring.

At least we got to see the kids and give them things they need. We also gave some of our cash over to the volunteers here who had done some fundraising and are buying meds of all sorts for the orphanage. Very good cause.

So thank you to everyone who gave us money to get stuff for the kids, it went to good use and I'm happy to have been the conduit, even if it didn't come off so smoothly. I will post pics (and a video) on Monday.

Cám ơn!

I am often awestruck by the generosity of others. When I express this amazement that people will so freely give money to help others, some will tell me how my children and I have been generous, as well. But I feel like volunteering my time and effort is so easy, so simple. I've never had enough money to donate much (though I've done what I could, when I could). I feel frustrated by my lack of helping financially, so I asked for help and you, my dear readers, have answered.

I set a goal of reaching $500 in donations before heading back down to Tam Ky and I'm quite happy to say that we are almost there. I'm incredibly grateful for all the gifts--the $5 contribution and the $200. Now that we are close to the goal, we've decided to come up with a shopping list. Audrey's started one, including hole-free blankets, diaper cream, jackets with zippers that work, new kitchen toys, etc. It's been fun thinking about all the things we can give them... thanks to your generosity. We'll also be giving cash to the volunteer coordinator to buy fruit for the orphans, every day for a month.

Our travel plans are to head to Ha Noi this weekend and celebrate my birthday by shopping for the orphans, then bringing the loot back to Thanh Hoa. We will head down to Tam Ky the next weekend. I'll have to take one day off; it's a 15-hour train ride each way so we can't possibly go down on Saturday and come back on Sunday.

I cannot wait to see the orphans again. I miss those kids so much, their laughs, singing and silly antics. The countdown is on and I'm so incredibly grateful for all your help. If you want to donate cash to the orphanage fund or donate items to the orphanage itself, please feel free to contact me [donateATteresaandkidsDOTcom]. You can also donate to Children of Vietnam, a US-based non-profit that helps kids twice a year in the central Viet Nam area, including the Tam Ky orphans.

it's a small world after all

Three months ago we said goodbye to Quang, a young boy at the Quang Nam Baby Orphanage in Tam Ky, as he headed off to America with his adoptive parents. He and Stuart were pals and I've been lucky enough to be able to keep in touch with his mother.


Two weeks ago, I was contacted by another adoptive parent. She'll be coming in June to get Audrey's pal, Kieu and her brother, Chieu. To find out that both of the kids' favorite friends have families is good news, great news, even. And better news is that both families live in the same city.

I am grateful to have been the conduit to their meeting and we all hope that the kids can meet up occasionally (often?), keeping their connection to each other, their language and their culture. Kieu and Chieu's best pal is being adopted to the States, as well, and the parents have 'met' online, another connection made.

I don't know how to adequately describe my reaction to all this. In many ways, I am jealous of their financial ability to adopt. I fell madly for many of the kids, but I'm not in a position to afford the hoop-jumping required to adopt. So instead, I will provide any connection I can for these children, to their homeland, to their language, to each other.

I'm fully aware that I can only do a small amount and I feel stifled by my lack of real effect, but I'm hopeful that every little bit helps. My connection to those children and to this country runs deeper than I had realized until I started explaining it to a friend in the States and the call ended in tears at the thought of going "home" and not coming back to Viet Nam. It's a very distinct possibility that once I leave, I won't be able to afford the return trip and that frightens me more than coming here initially did.

Family wants us to return for good. I want to have them visit us. My children aren't sure what they want. They don't want to leave, yet they miss cousins and grandparents and friends. It's a quandary; what is best for my children? There is so much to factor into the decisions I am facing.

It's a small world, but it's still expensive to get around it. .